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Warmen > Unknown Soldier > Reviews
Warmen - Unknown Soldier

Janne Wirman: "Look what I can do!" - 70%

Valfars Ghost, February 13th, 2016

There might not be an album more laden with showboating than Unknown Soldier. Janne "Warman" Wirman, not exactly known for playing a restrained or subtle role with main band Children of Bodom, goes all out here, delivering the fastest, most densely-packed keyboard lines ever. Though this album may be a shallow display of technical skill that only serves to boost Janne's ego, Unknown Soldier is a fun listen if you're not craving something especially balanced or meaningful.

Yeah, this album is an exercise in showboating but a good number of these songs have strong melodies. They aren't especially well-structured, with dazzling but aimless solos connecting the more disciplined, but still blazing fast, passages. While the title track, 'Warcry of Salieri' and 'Into the Oblivion' are all variations on the same idea, with an almost incomprehensibly fast flurry of notes serving as a foundation over which a simpler and louder rhythm is played, they still boast memorable and engaging choruses. While the solos generally aren't capable of holding your attention for long, the ideas that sound more scripted are strong enough to carry the weight of most of these pieces, with album closer 'Soldiers of Fortune' being a boring exception.

The production here will surely be torturous for some. Janne's keyboard is synthed out to the point where the instrumental numbers sound like 8-bit Mega Man themes played at twice the intended speed. Though some would claim otherwise, this doesn't leave the album feeling totally dead or emotionless. It's not exactly warm, with an electrified tone that sounds perhaps a bit robotic, but Unknown Soldier still manages to exude an aura of menace without the need for any harsher elements. The sheer intimidating complexity that repeatedly threatens to overwhelm the listener must have been enough.

If you hate the tone, then the fact that the keys are by far the most prominent aspect here, with them hitting approximately 9,000 notes a second in most passages, will just drive the railroad spikes of sheer agony deeper into your eardrums. There isn't anything to distract you from the keys either. This is Janne's show and no one else is allowed to put in memorable or impressive performances. If his over-the-top antics or his synthetic tone drive you crazy after the first song, just give up. There's no refuge for you here.

If you do like what you hear, then keep going. This key-driven neoclassical metal on 'roids continues for most of the album and, except for the aforementioned 'Soldiers of Fortune', is thrilling enough to overcome its shallowness.

The two vocal songs, featuring the sub-par Kimberly Goss, are the only outliers here. 'The Devil's Mistress' slows things way down. The song goes for a more atmospheric vibe with Goss aiming for a mysterious tone that falls flat because she ends up sounding lifeless and uninterested in what she's doing. 'Fire Within', plays like a forgotten song from the Little Richard era of rock n' roll converted to metal. No matter how out of place this number is, it's so catchy and fun that it's hard to imagine someone not liking it.

This isn't the kind of album one can wholeheartedly recommend or decry. It depends more on the tastes of the reader. If you don't like extended solo wanking, synthetic instrumental tones, or prominent keyboards, you will loathe this. If you're more forgiving of that sort of thing, you may still find this too overindulgent to stomach. This is so flashy and over the top that Yngwie looks restrained by comparison. If you're willing to overlook Janne's zeppelin-sized ego, you may find something here that's fun enough to listen to every now and then.

Don't quit your day job, Janne... - 20%

doomknocker, May 28th, 2010

Side projects can be a strange venture depending on who and what. Sometimes they can be fun little jaunts into culture-shocking genre shifts (Shagrath in CHROME DIVISION, for one), and other times it can be a simple rehashing of that which was your bread and butter to begin with (Aphazel in ZION). Still, I applaud a musician who isn’t too hung up on his/her original musical approach and isn’t afraid to try something wholly different, even if that person’s listening public wouldn’t be quite as understanding or accepting (that’s been the case for some, sad to say). So when it comes to this WARMEN thing, Janne Warman (CHILDREN OF BODOM’s key master) apparently took his synth prowess into the realm of REAL European power metal and the end result is something that’s gotten plenty of mixed opinions from fans and press.

And going in, I didn’t know what to expect…whose side would I be on in the end?

One thing is for certain…all those tasty, neo-classical melodies and solos that have been long-since missing from CHILDREN OF BODOM’s musical repertoire are here in WARMEN, in extreme excess. I’d describe this disc best, and the given musical approach of this here group, as “synth shred”, where the synth leads and solos are underscored by an almost unnecessary backing band, from the guitar work, to the galloping drums, to the little-too-intense females vocals, coming together in an electronic and artificial way that makes the whole thing sound like the soundtrack to an old Mega Man game, with its very NES-sounding production and instrumentation. I can understand Mr. Warman’s intentions and obvious talents given the fact that he’s been seemingly demoted to a back-up player in COB, but the sheer overindulgence of it all and lack of any real songwriting leave this whole thing unfulfilling at best and really fucking annoying at worst. I guess the biggest sin that permeates the brightest on “Unknown Soldier” is that there’s really no substance to the whole thing, which is the biggest problem with conventional shred, both guitar and keyboard-based; it’s one thing to wank until that which is being wanked is sore and spent, but if you don’t have any balls behind the music then it’s all just simple masturbation. That’s what separates this project from his day job in BODOM; the latter, despite its newer musical involvements, has a strong foundation of riffs to base the songs off of. Not so here…if it were not for the meandering solo work this would make for a very dull and ultimately uninteresting listen, where even the slick tendencies of “The Evil That Warmen Do”, “Unknown Soldier”, and “Warcry of Salieri”, with all their wild abandon, can’t save the day.

So in the end I was surprised that “Unknown Soldier” ended up being such a bland album. If Janne wants to keep the focus of the most jaded of metal fans he needs to put some real music behind his tickling of the ivories. But until then, we’re both better of with BODOM.

Onward To The Recycle Bin! (Part VIII) - 30%

OzzyApu, September 10th, 2009

The lasting value of this album is second to any Children Of Bodom album (even the good ones). I can handle keyboard-driven instrumental metal, but when it comes to that I’ll just seek out Bob Katsionis. You could easily attach the keyboard parts here and write a COB song with it, but in their present forms they sound like second-rate COB songs anyway. Give them female vocals by the forever-terrible Goss and they’re bound to suck eggs.

Production quality is surprisingly clearer and more focused than any COB album, which is insanely odd. The atmosphere is more vibrant and classical, approving of glorious power metal rather than sloppy melodic death like you can guess who (COB, durrrrr!). The album is insanely polished, which isn’t a problem for the type of music present (except for one instrument, and you can guess that one, too); bass booms behind the diverse but simple guitar riffs, and the drums hammer away without any shortcomings. Leads are in the hands of the keys instead of the guitar, but what’s the point of this band if it wasn’t? Solos are also primarily the job of the keys, which sound way too plastic and fake. It’s not something I’ll get annoyed by right away, but a few songs in and it’s just too pretentious.

Most of the music sounds heavy and fast, with rarely a thin moment. However, I don’t see any real direction with these songs. They sound so lifeless, even though each of them has a ton of flare. Is it do to the lack of vocals? Maybe I’m missing something here, but I don’t really find myself interested in these. They’re sort of focused along a prism and I know I like this genre somewhat, but something about the whole project doesn’t seem natural. It might be the whole synthetic tone of everything that drives me away from liking anything on here, but why isn’t this so with an equal project like that of Bob Katsionis? With Warmen, it’s supposedly geared towards the more (neo) classical style, reminding of my days where we played opuses, concertos, and all that good shit. Barely any song on here evokes that authentic feeling (the title track seems to be the only one that truly brought back these memories).

Janne really needs to get his band focused, because this wasn’t a good sign. To show off it wasn’t too bad, but bringing something invigorating was not on his list of things to do. Most of his arrangements sucked, especially in the first half (the half that bored me to death. It shot up with the title track, but broke down again and became a hit or miss deal with the latter half. As far as I know, that isn’t enough to keep him in my archives.