Promised to Kill You Last... I Lied!

I wanted to like this album, I really did. I hoped that it would have the same sense of goofy fun that Arnocorps had and that Austrian Death Machine lacked. I mean, I love brutal death metal, so what could be better than a brutal death metal album where every song has an Arnold Schwarzenegger sample? Plenty, that’s what.

The production is absolutely abysmal, as if I was hearing a performance that went through YouTube levels of compression. Normally, I don’t put much emphasis on production, but this album is just insanely muddy. I could have looked past that if the material was good, but all aspects are mediocre at best. The vocals don’t really stand out much and aren’t especially good, the guitars are fairly generic, and the drum machine is so badly programmed that I had to double-check to make sure that Lars Ulrich hadn’t guested on some tracks. And the humorous samples don’t really add as much as I had hoped; one song has an excruciatingly long three-minute sample that takes up half of the track.

If you’re curious about what Mortician would sound sound like if they were obsessed with Arnold Schwarzenegger films instead of horror movies, you might want to check this out. Everyone else should stay far away.

Originally posted at metal-jerks.com

Goretorture scores with a big huge home run with this killer album! Fans of brutal death metal and Arnold Schwarzenegger will fall in love with Goretorture. This band is a cross between Carcass and Mortician (except they use Arnold soundbytes instead of horror film soundbytes). A lot of the guitar work on this album sounds like it would be on Reek of Putrefaction. This band is definitely influenced by Carcass and other bands that relate to gore.

All of the songs have snippets of Arnold lines from various action movies such as Terminator 2 and Predator. There's even two snippets of Arnold's campaign for governor on Promised To Kill and GW. Most of the songs relate to Arnold and they are spoofs of what he says or movies that he's in. I don't know what the song titles GW and Partypooper relate to Arnold though. Arnold and brutal death metal are a perfect combination. Arnold is like the second vocalist of Goretorture, since his vocals appear on all of the songs. If I was Arnold, I'd be honored to be featured on all songs by a brutal death metal band and even contribute to it.

Gurglenator has a harsh and deep voice that makes a lot of other death metal vocalists sound like pansies. He is also an awesome guitar player. I love the fact that there's pinch harmonics from the guitars on all of the songs. There's many songs where you can't count how many times there are pinch harmonics from the guitars. They use more pinch harmonics than Black Label Society!

Dr. Brutal Robot is one of the best death metal drummers in the realm of death metal. He is indeed brutal. The drums are nice and fast, that's how all death metal drums should sound like. A perfect example of brilliant death metal drumming is on Uzi Emm, it begins with the fucking fast drumming of Dr. Brutal Robot.

Goretorture is without the most brutal and vicious death metal I have ever listened to. I don't know who's idea it was to have the Arnold clips in there, but I think it's highly original. You have to be a metalhead who's a fan of Arnold to really appreciate Goretorture. I cannot wait until the next Goretorture release.