Satans Defloration Incorporated

The Megamosh first found out about these three lascivious minstrels while their rowdy tunes were still one of the most regularly rotated ones in the bars… sorry, pits of Down Below. How I crave those long since gone times, man… anyway, it’s good that albums of the kind exist in order to remind us from time to time of why we fell in love with this music in the first place: to have fun, first and foremost. And fun we will have on all counts, moshing and jumping around to oblivion with the widest, silliest smile on our faces that may get extended into something lustier and hornier… cause there will be quite a bit of singing, and also playing about sex, above all, but also lust and love here, not necessarily in that order. In other words, be prepared to jump the beautiful damsel next door at some stage; no kidding.

More or less explicit, seductive lyrics aside, music-wise this charmingly naïve, rough-around-the-edges debut is an early example of the thrash/crossover hybrid on German soil although it can’t be placed squarely within those parametres due to the early German speed metal aesthetics that seep through the cracks here and there. However, the overall layout and the carefree, nonchalant attitude is quite similar to the ones exuded from the works of the US brotherhood of this trend like Ludichrist, The Accused, Leeway, the Nuclear Assault debut, etc.

Another however, before arousing the listener with their odes to sex in all its various forms, our heroes are determined to turn him/her off completely first by providing an eulogy to Quasimodo, one of the ugliest characters in literature (from Victor Hugo’s “The Hunchback of Notre-Dame”); yes, a hunchback, no more no less. A shame that they don’t even remotely mention the gorgeous Esmeralda, the other main character from the book… but more on her later. Yeah, I know, totally off-putting although the guys don’t stay on him for too long, sparing no more than 3-min of one-dimensional speedy bash before moving on with the more cleverly-constructed “Panic in Wehrmacht” which crosses vociferous bass exploits, more diverse riff-patterns, and a nice catchy chorus the perfectly acceptable semi-shouty/semi-clean singer ably helped by his comrades on that one. Musical and textual intellectuality are joined in an everlasting bond on “Wanker”, the first sexy sign here although it doesn’t become quite clear whether the guys praise this less satisfying, “do-it-yourself” aspect of our favourite pastime or denounce it as a (un)necessary aberration; music-wise this is a 2-min bass-rich hardcore explosion with a brief lead screamorama.

“Absolute Banger” is a merry optimistic speedster with nice melodic quirks, and “Young Blood” follows a similar path only focusing more on the primal barrage than on the melodic excursions. Time for the highlight, not from a sexual point-of-view though, “You’re Wrong”, an excellent semi-ballad with a brilliant chorus and a more inspired song-writing, an oasis amongst the immediate stripped-down walkabouts surrounding it. With this more serious intention out of the way, the headbanging fiesta continues on full-throttle with “Chainsaw Massacre”, 1.5-min of no-bars-held thrash/crossover fury which becomes a tad more controlled on the longer “I Don’t Care” where the lead guitarist displays more skills to a positive effect, albeit unnecessarily to these ears as the very simplistic nature of this album simply doesn’t require any such flashy exhibitions. “Take Off Your Hands” is an infectious, instantly memorable roller-coaster the band attempting something more stylish again with a more elaborate, bass-dominated again, mid-section and more impressive lead pyrotechnics.

An interesting, contrasting opus so far which culmination, depending on the taste of course, may be considered the next showdown, “I Wanna Fuck Ya”, the message loud and clear, no beating about the bush but pricking straight through it; a hymn that can be used to either seduce Clarissa from the apartment on the left or Abigail from the apartment on the right, or to combine them in a most holy threesome fashion in the best case scenario, with Kama Sutra positions of their choice, with Esmeralda from the flat above supervising the proceedings by gleefully masturbating (not really megamoshing) on the side, repeatedly voicing her hopes that she could also get involved in the fleshy sticky, also quite entangled, melee at some stage… in other words, the applications of this immortal hit are endless, including in a potential ritual to resurrect Romeo and Juliet, or Jack and Rose, or Tristan and Isolde, or Champolion and Clementine (who the fuck are those?!) although in strictly music terms this is just another direct hardcore-ish proposition, by no means the highest creative endeavour here.

With all the lust and (un)healthy desires out of the way the show must go on, god damn it, and what better way for that than throwing in one big bullshit right after the sex although the “Bullshit” in this case is mere 5cm… sorry, sec long, the guys plain shouting “Buuuuuul… shit!”. Yeah, not a lot of energy left for much more after the marathon with these naughty maidens (not anymore), but at least the guys pull themselves together for another momentary speedy crossover delight, “Disappointment” is the title the bass player, a sheer gleaming talent by the way, carrying a lot on his shoulders for the umpteenth time, raising this cut well above the disappointment status. The man is also quite busy at the start of “Bloodsuckers” which is a minimalistic doomy ballad lasting for over 4-min, would you believe, a very surprising turn of events but easily forgiven after all that jazz… sorry, sex… sorry… whatever!

From fictional freaks to endless, both “lone wolf” and group orgies, to bloodsucking vampires… there’s a lot to swallow within these 36 minutes, 36 minutes that should have kept many a metal fan happy during those times; well, by all means The Megamosh whom I clearly see grinning widely like the most successful undertaker during the early-70’s sex film industry boom. Despite the easy, very unpretentious flow of the music for most of the time there’s again this strife for loftier ways of expression with both the lead guitarist and the bass player fighting for domination the whole time. On the more serious side, it’s a kind of pity that the band largely became (in)famous thanks to the mentioned love anthem which also won them the cult status they have been enjoying all these years. Said number remains one of the guys’ inferior compositions and is easily side-tracked by most of the cuts here, not to mention those from the extraordinary sophomore, one of the highest points of the whole German metal kaleidoscope. Well, you do what you have to do, to flesh out your carnal desires, and to be ready to bear your cross all the way to…

jolly, silly good fun with a healthy sexual twist we have just experienced; one that will definitely offend those self-important, pretentious posers out there who cringe every time the word “fuck” is thrown at their face… yes, this album is not for them, but then neither is the whole metal circuit for that matter. There’s plenty of Pet Shop Boys and Modern Talking material all around for those to indulge, for crying out loud… although every averagely intelligent human being knows very well that “You’re My Heart, You’re My Soul” is a most evocative “I Wanna Fuck Ya” message, only disguised under romantic lyrical euphemisms… sweet fucky nothings, to put it bluntly.

You don’t think so? How was that line from there: “In my heart (pants) there’s a fire…”; haven’t we all learnt to read between those sticky lusty lines, baby! Your turn, Esmeralda!

S.D.I. was one of those bands that appear like the northern lights in the sky. After a short flickering, they leave no trace. Honestly speaking, this was anything else but a tragedy. In the light of their debut, S.D.I. did not completely suck, but their concept was more than questionable (if we can still speak of a concept at all). I do not think that it is intelligent to mix more or less serious lyrics ("Panic in Wehrmacht" dealt with the German campaign against Russia) with moronic song titles like "Quasimodo" or "Wanker". The minimalist piece "Bullshit" did not meet my kind of humour, too. Not to mention the fact that this approach reminded me strongly of the anarchic numbers of S.O.D., for example "Ballad of Jimmy Hendrix". Without doubt, S.D.I. presented a crude hotchpotch instead of showcasing a stringent full-length and the gruesome and cheap looking cover artwork fitted perfectly with the undefined musical direction.

The complete A side lacked of outstanding tracks. The pretty primitive semi-ballad "You´re Wrong" sucked and trivial speed tracks such as "Wanker" or "Absolute Banger" were basking in the pale light of mediocrity. "Quasimodo", the opening track, was defaced by one of the most amateurish choruses of all times. It remains a mystery why they selected exactly this song to kick off the album. Yet even the best track of the A side ("Panic in Wehrmacht") posed a puzzle in view of the integration of its feeble solo. Aside from the comparatively awkward compositions, the band could not rely on a powerful production. In particular the airy guitars lacked of heaviness. When also taking the spiritless back cover into account, everything seemed to be finished without passion. The blame for this lackadaisical appearance could not be laid solely on the band, but the rookies had to pay for this unfavourable conditions.

In terms of quality, the songs of the B side did not significantly differ from those of the first half of the album. On the one hand, tunes like the up-tempo number "I Don´t Care" did not suffer from grave defects. On the other hand, even the better songs of the B side were not able to leave a lasting impression. And total nonsense like "I Wanna Fuck You" failed to enrich my "headbanger career". It was therefore an ironic twist of fate that the only enthralling track was called "Disappointment". Anyway, the clownish attitude of S.D.I. was not compatible with my idea of German speed metal. Due to the commercial flop of the band, the majority of the fans seemed to share my point of view.

Every class has its clowns. In the case of German thrash and speed metal in the mid-80s, there were a number of options. You could choose Tankard, who married their sense of alcoholic camp to blindingly excellent rhythmic bombardments, unforgettable choruses and albums so good that you'll still feel the hangover decades later. Or, there were other alternatives. S.D.I. is one example, but an example that would be better untouched. To be more specific, it's their debut Satans Defloration Incorporated that should remain untouched: one of the weirdest and most random seeming acronyms in a genre that relied far too often on acronyms, and an attempt at deadpan comedy that falls short both lyrically and musically.

Obviously, these Germans did not take themselves, or anything else seriously, and the record suffers as a result. The lyrics tend to delve into the very world of metal cliches itself surrounding the band, but taken to bizarre new extremes, as with the opener "Quasimodo", which if I'm not mistaken is about the famous hunchback traveling forward in time and attending a metal gig, narrated through lines like: 'Quasimodo's back from middle ages, the bells of Notre Dame is our PA!' Laughable English aside, is this really all that funny? I don't think so, and even the sped up Motorhead style guitars do nothing to salvage it, though I could appreciate the Rainhard Kruse vocals, grunted and growled with plenty of gang shouts for accompaniment. There are a number of other embarrassing tracks like "I Wanna Fuck Ya" with its hilariously lame, blunt passages and disposable punk/speed metal; "Wanker" with its whistled intro; or "Bullshit", which is 5 seconds of the group shouting the title, a waste of space, even if but a little space.

Then there are moments like "Absolut Banger" or "Young Blood" that might have been tolerable without the terrible lyrics; raucous bouts of thrash-infused speed that found a middle ground between Raven, Running Wild and Motorhead, but at least offer a glimpse of the band's future territory (Sign of the Wicked and Mistreated are more accessible speed metal efforts, but far ahead of this in quality). Probably the band I'd compare this album to most would have been Oregon's Wehrmacht , who had a similar, lackluster approach with some fairly shitty music, garnering a cult following despite themselves. But S.D.I. are even less amusing, and though the writing isn't always void of an acceptable riff or two, I feel comfortable in citing this as one of the worst albums in the formative Teutonic thrash trade, from the disproportionate cover imagery to the listless writing.

-autothrall
http://www.fromthedustreturned.com

S.D.I playing the most typical thrash/speed metal, but they do it pretty good!
It isn't a serious stuff here, this album has a lot of humor within but in the right dosage. On other hand, tracks like 'Bullshit' are nothing more than a stupid joke, but it still manages to sounds logical for this album, somehow...

'Quasimodo' begins with low and deep voice which welcome us to the S.D.I, then comes the riffing which sounds pretty similar to Metallica's Hit The Lights main riff with little touch of early Megadeth in the vocals. Pretty catchy track, and the funny lyrics keeps on pretty good versification for the whole track. 'Wanker' is maybe the best track here, begins with kinda country plucking with some backing whistles and then comes a riffage which sounds totally like a Megadeth worship. The bass break is pretty cool but the solo which comes after it sounds pretty dull. In spite of the completely imitation feeling of this track, it's a pure kicking ass thrash hymn, straightforward, fast and again goofy lyrics which makes this song sounds extremely badass!

This album has a big load of catchy and funny tracks with pretty energetic riffing.
'Chainsaw Massacre' is a short and striaghtforward riffing assault with a sudden belch in the end which step up the lunatic level here, 'I Wanna Fuck You' is the most extreme edge of this album with the actual sounds of bedroom in the mentioned scene with some "I wanna f.u" here and there. Musically, it isn't an original album because it using the familiar formula of speed metal and sounds a lot like albums which came earlier, but it has a unique goofiness within which makes this album sounds different...is it a favorable difference? Well, you decide...