Hell-o!

When it comes to GWAR, people typically think of the three most commonly liked albums, 'Scumdogs', 'America' and 'Violence'. But when it comes to the punk-ish origins of the band, not only are they typically overlooked, but also sometimes criticized harshly. Is Gwar's debut 'Hell-O!' the best? Not by a long shot. Is it free of flaws? Certainly not. Is it still great for a band getting their foot in the door? Absolutely.

The first thing I typically look at with any Gwar album, is the line up, as Gwar is known for it's constant line-up changes, whether out of disagreements in the band, to horrible tragedy. Out of the band members on this debut, the only familiar face still in the band is Mike Bishop's 'Beefcake the Mighty'. Aside from Bishop, the line-up consists of the late Dave Brockie as Oderus, and a couple one off members. Brockie on this album isn't unrecognizable, but sounds obviously much younger and higher in pitch, even when delivering his more lower and growling-style vocals. He doesn't offer much variation compared to later releases, but still delivers a cartoon-y and colorful performance, shrieking of necro-bestial romance and vowels. Lyrically, the more well written and memorable songs are hilariously worded and stand out among the more filler like songs. Tracks like 'I'm in love (With a dead dog)' and 'Techno's song' are not only funny, but also damn good songs, in the stories they tell, and the punky-heavy metal rhythms that are delivered.

In terms of genre, there's very much so a punk inspiration behind the music, but the rock and roll elements vastly outweigh anything punk on this album. The riffs by Dewey's 'Flattus' and Steve's 'Balsac' aren't terrible or outstanding, but get the job done. The drumming is also surprisingly mellow in its dynamics, along with its simplicity. Rob's 'Nippleus' is relatively chilled out and it's an interesting performance from such an aggressive band. The first half of 'GWAR Theme' is also a standout, in it's lounge music, American folk acoustics, that declares GWARs mission.

I've also heard complaints about the production of this album, which to me, isn't terribly noticeable. Sure, it sounds dated as hell, but it certainly adds to the charm of the album and amateur, and immature of the band and its songs. If you heard a song of this album, you'd instantly be able to tell it was off of 'Hell-O!'. The lamest aspect of the album however, is the hit-or-miss nature of the tracks. If they hit, they feel like instant GWAR classics, but the misses just deflate and drain my interest. Thankfully, the songs on this album don't last long, and most of the bad tracks are the shorter ones.

A strong debut, flawed but still amazing.

Hell-o! – 1988

I am not really a GWAR die hard. I never really have been. I initially heard of GWAR in the evil world of the mid 1990’s as a little kid. I saw them and liked their stage getup, with all of the blood and gore. I also dug the whole GWAR lore attached. It was pretty beneficial for a young kid with a creative mind. Over the years, I sort of forgot about GWAR, only hearing constant advertisements for upcoming shows at the local venue “Harpo’s Concert Theater” in Detroit, where they like to play every year on Halloween, essentially de-throning Detroit’s own “Halloween” from playing there every year, which was a tradition for Halloween fans. But during Halloween’s period of silence, I guess that GWAR could pass for the time being.

A few months back, I decided to re-discover GWAR, and what better place to start than from the beginning. What was in store for me was a very different style of GWAR. A GWAR that wore their hardcore punk influences on their shoulders. “Hell-o!” is very reminiscent to bands like “The Dead Kennedys”. The songs are loud fast and full of energy. It shows the foreshadowing of what is to come, as evidenced in songs like “Time For Death”. They are full of the heavy metal energy that was to become. But the punk flag begins to fly high on songs like “AEIOU” and “Americanized”. Punk rock GWAR is not the same GWAR that brought you classics like “The Salaminizer” or “Gor-Gor”. The humor is as present as ever on here. This has to be the most humorous album of them all, eclipsing “Scumdogs of the Universe” and “America Must Be Destroyed” by a sizable margin. The humor is at times juvenile, with lyrics such as “Doggy in my anal cave” on the track “War Toy”. But with that, the lyrics of “Americanized” never fail to make me burst out with laughter. But at times it is indeed strange. “I’m In Love (With A Dead Dog)” is a tender love story between a man and his dog named “Pookie”. The story takes a weird twist when he begins to “take the dog for a throw down the stairs”. Needless to say, the absurdity of the record only gets worse as time goes on. I do not really mind the absurdity and the juvenile humor, due to the fact that some minds think alike, if you catch my drift. Essentially, my sense of humor is somewhat on level with my brother who is a little 6th grader, at times.

If you like GWAR and do not have it, I would personally recommend that you pick up “Scumdogs Of The Universe” or “America Must Be Destroyed” for a first listen. If you jump right to this, you may be a bit disappointed. If you are a long-time “Bohab”, then you may find this as interesting and different than you are used to. I even have teachers this year that like GWAR, but have never heard of “Hell-O!”. The album is vastly different from GWAR of the now. Most fans prefer the next few albums over this. It is a fun listen, but I doubt it will ever become a frequent player on my turntable. K.G.

(Or.. "Hawkwind is Assaulted by Gutter Punks in a Sci Fi Convention Bathroom" )

...And amazingly, it works like a motherfucker. That pretty much sums up this whole album, but let us continue...

The key to enjoying this album is to keep from comparing it to any other GWAR album, as there's little this has in common with any of their other work, apart from the more obviously punk-derived songs on later albums. This is a sloppy, noisy, garage band instead of the GWAR that would emerge fully realized as of the very next album. The GWAR mythos feels undeveloped as yet, and David Brockie's delivery in particular is jarring in it's near total lack of the trademark authority and charisma heard on "Scumdogs", excepting the closer "Rock and Roll Party Town" in which he begins to sound more like Oderous. I don't think he'd found, or committed to the character yet here. Some of these songs sound as if they weren't even written according to the GWAR mythos. "Techno's Song" seems to provide the strongest tie to GWAR's later work of anything on "Hell-O".

The production is pretty raw, thick and noisy, with the guitars a bit low in the mix. It's almost a basement-level production, but manages to cast an atmosphere.

I can see some GWAR fans rejecting this album outright, and some non-fans of GWAR enjoying this quite a bit, it's that different. All comparisons aside, this is a rowdy, filthy, ugly, fun album that demands not to be taken seriously. It's practically a straight up punk album at times, and I'm only marginally into punk or else I would probably have rated this higher. Mostly, I enjoy the insane, but incredibly effective midpaced, noisily psychedelic, seemingly classic Hawkwind influenced approach to riffing and atmospheres in some of these tracks. It works, and seems to provide the "space" element to the band's mythos as of this album. It would have been interesting to hear them develop that sound further if they'd chosen to, but then we may not have had a "Scumdogs of the Universe", which would suck.

For people who wish Hawkwind had dropped all the horns and flutes and shit, written shorter songs and gotten really raunchy and filthy, and people who wish more punk bands would sing songs about interplanetary necro-bestial butt sex.

Latex suits and alien aesthetics? What? Yeah, that's GWAR. They're very recognizable in the metal scene, especially for their costumes. But, what about the music? This release is nothing like any of their later works. I'm sure the punksters our there might even get into this.

I'm not exactly sure when GWAR stopped being Death Piggy, but I assume some of this music was written in the Death Piggy era. The music is heavily hardcore punk sounding, which is great because I'm a hardcore fan. The songs are short, and the guitar riffs are primitive. Everything you have come to love about GWAR starts with this release. Another cool thing about this one is that the bass guitar plays a much bigger role in the music than in later works. It cuts right to the top of the mix, much like bands such as Jerry's Kids. This album is actually not very metal at all, but the songs end up sounding more complex than a normal 80's hardcore punk song. Oh, how about them themes and lyrics? They're still here, and even more rowdy. If the general public doesn't care about the uniforms, it's the non serious lyrics that gets them. With such songs as 'I'm In Love with a Dead Dog' and 'Slutman City', it's really hard to take them seriously. Though, if you take them too seriously, you're really not listening to the music in the right way. GWAR is really meant to be taken very lighthearted. Usually I laugh at people when they complain about these aspects of the band.

Well then. 'Hell-O' is a very good release, especially for anyone looking for a good time. Punkers and metalheads unite, come together and get pillaged by the GWAR crew. It would be nice to see GWAR touch up on this style again, it'd be one hell of a listen

I've seen quite a few reviews for this album over the years, and I'm surprised to find that in general reviews of this album are low. This was the first Gwar album I heard (it was the only one at the time), and I'll admit when I first heard it, it sounded like a wall of throbbing noise. It sounded truly awful, and I nearly gave it back to it's owner who had lent it to me along with Sound Garden's first. But something unexpected happened.

This Gwar album, as much as I didn't think I liked it, drew me back. There was something just so unique about these guys in hideous elaborate costumes, hilarious names, and over the top lyrics about falling in love with dead dogs, and a song lovingly disparaging Jacque Cousteau, of all people. The band sounded smart, and insanely childish at the same time. Obviously they were having fun. So, I kept listening to it anyway, I considered it a challenge to understand Gwar, and it grew on me--fast. In the end I got it, and I had fun too. The Sound Garden album bored me, and I'm still not a fan, so that went back, but this Gwar album I wouldn't give up. To this day it's still "borrowed".

The bottom-line folks is that this is a great PUNK album with hilarious genius lyrics and massive catchy riffing. It's not really a metal album like the brilliant follow up Scumdogs of the universe, and it's not as obvious and noveltyish as some of their later day stuff.

Sure I have trouble getting through a track like "Captain Crunch" too, but in a way I appreciate the fact that the song screeches like a half a pound of nuts and bolts in your mom's favorite blender. And nothing compares to the lyrical experience, the whirling death machine that is "I'm in Love With a Dead Dog", to quote "We share a cheese ball, we just do it all…" "Time For Death!", while horrifying lyrically, is hilariously delivered by Oderus' in his nonchalant understated way. It's just everyday business for Gwar.

"Americanized", "Slutman City", "Je M'Appelle J. Cousteau", and "Pure as the Arctic Snow" are also highlights of this great album. All feature catchy vocal melodies and plain old fun punk riffs. It puts a smile on my face just to type the names of those songs. Remember though this album will most likely NOT be and easy experience on first listen, but your persistence will be rewarded as the songs take shape after a few spins of the CD.

I saw Gwar in concert years ago when they were supporting their third album and they played a few of the track from this debut and I was just enthralled. They did the encores without their costumes too, as is customary. For my money it's Hell-o and Scumdogs, both GENIUS albums that the world at large will never know. If you "get" GWAR but don't like this album my suggestion is to at least listen to it again and try to appreciate it as an insane chugging punk Antarctic landscape.

I first heard of GWAR from the Beavis and Butthead game released on the Sega Genesis. The objective of the game was to reassemble the pieces of the duo’s accidentally shredded GWAR tickets in time for the sweetest concert of their lives. From that moment forth, the name GWAR was spoken with an air of intrigue. What sort of crazy band could have so fascinated those animated misfits that merely seeing them live could be the premise of an entire game? Well, had I been blessed with a bit more lucidity as a child, I might have reasoned that one of their favorite bands might bear some similarity to them in terms of crudeness and maturity. And so they are: GWAR are one of the most repugnant bands that ever was or will be.

Now I’ll openly admit to liking some of the band’s later material (Scumdogs, Ragnarok, as well as the occasional tune on the others), but this debut is the worst sort of filth. Whereas their later releases leaned more towards a metal sound, Hell-O rides off a haphazard punk vibe. The musicians behind the material are talented; occasionally their ability shines through the wall of noise (namely the bass player). But for the most part, this is low-fi, sloppy punk with the occasional Motorhead-esque rock ‘n’ roll passage. The guitar tone is flaccid and consistently outshined (and out-volumed) by the bass. Drumming is standard issue, as is the song construction. At least the songs are mercifully short. The only thing separating this from your average skate punk band of the day is the vocals. Oterus Urungus has a very unique voice, sort of a Jello Biafra meets Count Dracula meets the Ramones. He doesn’t sing all the songs (Techno Destructo sings his song in a rather matter-of-fact way), but he delivers the goods when he does. If this were all that had to be factored in, the album would have garnered at least around a 60 for being a decent punk album with a few nice solo moments and an exemplary bass player. But no, now we must address the lyrics.

Those unfamiliar with GWAR are unfortunately unfamiliar with the GWAR legacy and mythology. The band, in addition to creating an elaborate stage show with their trademark costumes and celebrity executions, wrote out a complex yet childish narrative of their mythical origins and never-ending quest. Of course, an inside joke is rarely funny to an outsider listener, but at times over their career their lyrics have actually managed to legitimately amuse me. This is not the case on Hell-O. GWAR has always been a band that surmounted their mediocre songs with over-the-top perversity, even from their earliest days. I don’t usually hurl a random-sounding slur of insults at an album I dislike, but the lyrics here (as well as many of their later lyrics, actually) sound like they were penned by an 8 year old boy with Tourette’s. Aside from no more than a shadow of a hint of political satire, the songs, regardless of what they’ve been titled or are supposed to be about, fishtail around randomly between explicit tales of violence, grotesque perversion, and absurd, impulsive non-sequiturs that so blatantly exist merely to keep a rhyme scheme going that Shel Silverstein would shit a brick wall (even though he’s dead) at the sight of them on paper. In short, it’s all one big fart joke. Sure, M.O.D. is pretty immature in their lyrical fodder, but this shit is just dumb. I can’t see anyone over the age of thirteen enjoying this, and I feel stupider just from having heard it. Seriously, worst lyrics ever (yes, even worse than Mr. Bungle). Read the words to “War Toy,” “Time for Death” or “Captain Crunch” if you don’t believe me; they’re the best examples.

If you’re the type that really doesn’t mind lyrical content, no matter how repulsive, add 30 points to the score I gave this. I have it marked down because I feel as though I’ve lost about that many points of IQ from this drivel. Hell-O is definitely not the place to start your journey into the GWAR experience. Skip it in favor of the followup, Scumdogs of the Universe, and you might be pleasantly surprised with their newfound listenability.