This Toilet Earth

Picture this: you are an incredibly creative and talented bunch of metal musicians that have put out two incredible albums in a row and need to make the next hit that all the kids will be blasting to piss off their parents. What do you do to top yourself after your last album? Even if you’re of the opinion that ‘America Must Be Destroyed’ is the inferior album to ‘Scumdogs of the Universe’, it’s almost unanimous that ‘This Toilet Earth’ would be a step down from either album and/or superior to neither. Funnily enough this was the very last proper GWAR album I received, and it’s regarding its chronology in the band’s discography, I was initially very confused. Everything felt different compared to what I usually expected from GWAR and was demonstrably inferior to the band’s previous efforts. Of course, just because an album isn’t as good as the best doesn’t mean it’s bad and I’ve since come around to liking it, but this album is damn strange.

One of my biggest grievances I have with album is the abundance of sub-three-minute tracks that consist mainly of filler. Tracks ‘Fight’ and ‘Eat Steel’ are especially short, both clocking in at under a minute and half, and appropriately so, considering they’re the most punky and hardcore tracks off the album. And much like most sub-par hardcore punk, they fall flat and are largely forgettable messes that are a waste of Beefcake’s vocals. On the opposite side of things, more flavorable slices of music like the tracks ‘Pepperoni’ and ‘Pocket Pool’ sound like precursors of worse things to come. Musically and lyrically, consider these tracks a prelude to ‘Carnival of Chaos’ and ‘We Kill Everything’, sounding like they were ripped from two of GWAR’s worst albums. You could bin these 4 tracks and still be left with a decent amount of songs, about 40 minutes of run time and 80% less filler, because besides those few tracks, GWAR still manages to pull some zany and enjoyable tracks from their pimple-covered asses.

Even taking the bad songs into account, GWAR on this album feels like they’re larger than life, perusing the city, partying without a care in world and writing/playing whatever the hell they want to, damn it. And while that is an energy that GWAR has no issue utilizing to their credit, the production does this album a disservice by not amplifying it enough. These are songs that should jumping out of your amps, trashing your room, making a mess! Instead, they’re just songs, the epitome of manic metal being held back by a soft, plushy cage. It’s heavy, but not too heavy, maybe heavy enough to be marketable while GWAR still gets away with their maniacal metal musings and misadventures. Call me a conspiracy theorist but considering the stakes at the time with Metal Blade being possibly being distributed by Warner Bros. Records, combined with GWAR’s increasing popularity, maybe they toned things back to seem more marketable? I’d say it’s a possibility, especially since they had pressure to drop the song BDF for the deal to go through. Hope the song was worth it GWAR, even though they dropped it on later pressings of the album anyway. (Spoilers: It wasn’t worth it, it sucks).

Fret not bohabs, while not everything in ‘This Toilet Earth’ has got its plumbing right, feel free to wipe away the crud with some of GWAR’s innovative nonsense. Take for example, ‘Saddam A Go-Go’, just brimming with that frenetic MTV energy and its freak horn arrangement. Or perhaps the off the rails, wild west inspired ‘Bad Bad Men’ and the upbeat, rocking beat down of ‘Slap U Around’. Or the song that leaves every other tune behind in the toilet bowl, ‘The Insidious Soliloquy of Skulhedface’. This song has all the stops, ragtime showtunes, powerful thrash riffs, moving waltz and a singer that’s so cartoony, he gives Oderus a run for his money. Speaking of which, I find Oderus just a tad bit annoying on this album at times. Not downright irritating, but enough to ask him to tone it a down a bit, likes he’s poking you or something. As for the other members, no one feels like they’re pushing the envelope or trying to outdo themselves. They got a lead guitarist again but there’s no solos to speak of or riffs to melt your brain with. I swear almost every aspect of this album is just trying to be ‘ok’ and nothing more. Sure, we could match the blazing intensity of ‘America’ or the crowd pleasing, memorable melodies of ‘Scumdogs’ but naw, we’ll play things more punk like (without any balls to go with it) and play songs that aren’t too challenging or too memorable. I’d also compare this album to ‘Hell-O’ with its punkish mannerisms but at least that album had depth and texture to it. Combining the lackluster production of this album along with the uninspiring writing and performances is like eating a dry sandwich. This album isn’t unbearable and might have some interesting and funky flavors here and there, but it’s missing a whole other dimension that makes GWAR go from 2D to 3D, to hell even 4D at times. At least the genre variation on this album is an experiment in things going right. Yeah, the punk sucks, but the jabs at country-esque rock, comedy rock and more doomy/experimental songs are neat to see (Sonderkommando, The Obliteration of Flab Quarv 7, The Issue of Tissue, etc.). An honest to god re-recording of this album might do it some good. Improving the production and trimming some of the barnacles from this toilet would do it some good.

Wow, putting my thoughts to paper really made me realize how many issues I had with this album. This album isn’t bad, instead it’s a middle of the road, lower end GWAR album that has some rousing moments of ownage and mayhem restrained by a array of leakages and sopping performances. It’s baffling that the worst GWAR albums have songs more memorable AND enjoyable than the higher tier songs here. The only thing that comes close to a classic here is ‘Saddam’ in terms of wide appeal. However, on its own, this album has a lot of songs to offer. GWAR got lucky with the quantity over quality approach and thumped out at least 9 songs that I can get behind whole-heartedly. Keep in mind that a middle/lower tier GWAR album is still a thousand times more imaginative and engaging than a middle/lower tier thrash album from anyone else. Even in this toilet we don’t laugh at GWAR, we laugh with them, no matter how hard they deserved to be flushed at times. (Also let the record stand that Krak-Down on this album is infinitely worse than the Canadian, ‘America Must be Destroyed’ version).

GWAR’s discography is one of the most erratic in all of heavy metal-dom, fluctuating between goofball punk and groove-laden thrash with every genre imaginable in between making a guest appearance. Perhaps due to the band’s unique lineup situation (with the exception of vocalist Oderus Urungus, perpetually embodied by the mighty Dave Brockie, incoming members usually assume the role of the established characters, so you can never be too sure who is actually playing on any given release) or simply an experimental nature producing experimental results, no two albums sound quite the same. It’s an aspect both intriguing and frustrating as one works their way through the albums….will I be banging my head as if up from the dead or rolling my eyes as if un-amused? With this toilet album…probably a little bit of both.

Stylistically, This Toilet Earth is a bit less out-there than the previous effort, sounding more like the second coming of Hell-O with its weak production, surplus of throwaway tunes, and hardcore-emphasis. It’s a definite exercise in quantity over quality, spreading the winners a bit thinner than usual. There’s some funky stuff (“Pepperoni,” “Pocket Pool”), some punky stuff (“Jack the World,” “Krak Down,” “Fight”), and a lot you probably won’t care to remember, even after a few listens. It seems likes it was deliberately engineered to outdo the band’s other albums in terms of pure disposability, as though GWAR was just cranking this one out so they could get back out on the road and tour. With this I can sympathize: GWAR was designed to be experienced live. But the albums must still exist in the interim, and I just wish they’d have put more of an effort into this one. Besides, these days most of their 90’s stuff never gets performed anyway, leaving us with a ton of “chuckle once and recycle” tracks cluttering up a handful of albums that could make a killer greatest (s)hits collection with a little discretion.

As such, no GWAR album is without its classics. “Saddam A Go-Go” is a perfect opener, blending a horn section into the established GWAR rhythm madness. Skulhedface, a character that would come to deserve his own film, has a very interesting, insidious soliloquy, which features a hilariously corny showtune breakdown in the midst of a horde of riff changes. But as a whole, the album is not the resplendently quotable ordeal that many other GWAR albums are; even the intentionally offensive stuff like “BDF” and “Slap U Around” just aren’t quite up to snuff.

Fans of GWAR’s punkier essence might just disagree. I say flush it.

Ah, neat, neat...nice to see Gwar on the site. I've been ambivalent about their status of 'metalitude' for quite some time now, having downloaded several tracks from various albums and buying this one. I've noticed traces of being metal, but the overall vibe stretched closer to punk and hard rock. Heh, someone actually told me that Gwar is virtually what started nu-metal. I doubt that, though.

Anyway, this album is chock-full of utterly demented, slapstick humor from the scumdogs of the universe. Each track is infused with a cocky, arrogant, obnoxious punk spirit along with just enough metal to get by. Also, there are other musical nuances you can notice here, and that's what really sets this band and this album apart. Gwar truly are purveyors of diversity and ingenuity in their songwriting. For example, the awesome opening track "Saddam a Go-Go" has a percussive saxophone accompaniment; "The Insidious Soliloquy of Skulhedface" is almost the equivalent of a silly modern rock opera; "Slap U Around" has an undeniably exhilarating classic rock spirit and sound; and "The Obliteration of Flab Quarv 7" takes the route of an extended narration that's purposefully rushed, but sounds great in its apocalyptic atonality.

A lot of people don't like Gwar because of their lyrical content and lack of musical talent, but it doesn't bother me that much...plus, their humorous lyrics are very appealing. For example, a choice section of "Slap U Around" is the following: " I wake you up in the morning baby, with a kick in the tit. I treat you like shit, you love it!" I'm not a major supporter of misogynistic lyrics, but c'mon, this band isn't to be taken seriously. Also, I do think they actually have some talent, but it's not readily apparent...I believe they're holding back. You can't argue that they're not innovative, though.

I must also mention the vocals and the album layout. Oderus Urungus has a great voice, if you ask me. It's not classically good, nor does he have much range and talent, but he's perfect for the style of music that the band play. Much of the time, he has a semi-deep grunt kind of shouting and other times he uncovers his melodic sensibilities when he actually sings. The actual singing doesn't really stand out much, but it's nice to hear it juxtaposed with his normal style. Also of note are the occasional vocals of Slymenestra Hymen, the female member of the band.(I'm pretty sure it's her who does some of the vocals sometimes.) On tracks such as "Fight", you can hear her snarling, creaturish vocals which sound strangely stuck in the background. That's the only detriment to her singing on this album...it's just not loud and in-your-face enough. Not too much of a biggie, though.

On to the the album layout inside the sleeve...this is fucking cool. Haha. It features profiles of each of the band members with pictures of them fully garbed in their extraterrestrial stage outfits and showcases their answers to a series of very very odd questions, such as "LAST ORIFICE VIOLATED". God, all this reminds me of when I used to create imaginary characters on paper with similar profiles. I can't recall much right now, but just read everything---it's funny. In addition, the artwork besides much of the lyrics is downright weird, especially the scene covering two pages which features many creatures with their private parts censored. What the fuck?!! Haha.

So, in conclusion....is this the most technically brilliant, aggressive, emotional band in the world?....HELL FUCKING NO. But are they good?....HELL YEAH, BITCH. Anyways, the fact that they're not really the most talented band in the world is a bit of a nonentity because of their originality. I think you'd be very hard-pressed to find a band that sounds much like Gwar. They're just very distinctive like that.

Now, I've only to get my hands on some of their other albums...namely Violence Has Arrived, which allegedly has the band really turning up the technicality and aggression a few notches without losing the eccentric, twisted qualities that define them.