The Lost Christmas Eve

You can guess the consternation that could be read on my friends' faces as I showed them this album and introduced them to Trans-Siberian Orchestra's Christmas Trilogy, especially since they know me for my extreme tastes in metal (a fan of avant garde, extreme and progressive metal). They were also quite amazed to hear I actually like Christmas, in spite of my atheist convinces... The Lost Christmas Eve is my favorite of the three Christmas - themed albums released by Pitrelli's musical project.

I was introduced to TSO by their "Beethoven's Last Night" album, which happened to be the first concept album or rock opera I've ever listened to. Since all Trans-Siberian Orchestra albums are concepts, I put a high price on the story behind the music and lyrics. Being the final chapter of the Christmas Trilogy (composed of The Christmas Attic and Christmas Eve and Other Stories), The Lost Christmas Eve has the most complex, beautiful and impressive story, that takes you to the streets of New York and on the tracks left in the snow by a wealthy businessman, as he leaves his office in downtown NY. He enters a blues bar (to distract himself from the festivity he hated), and then meets a girl in front of a great hotel, before being reunited with his son, whom he had forsaken at birth.

I've heard people complain about the extensive presence of God and other Christian elements in this story, and I have to admit I agree with their criticism of the cliches that are abundant in the storyline. However, I advise you to see beyond the first layer, the first impression. Read the story, the main idea is powerful, impressive and, above all, original. Ignoring the cliches will reveal a complex character, and a fantastic short prose, strange at times.

Musically, this album's distinct characteristic is it's diversity. It has original songs, as well as remakes (for example, Back to a Reason part II is a remake of the same-titled song by Savatage, while Christmas Canon Rock is a revisited version of Christmas Canon from The Christmas Attic disc). Most songs are based on a classical Christmas theme or a classical song, which have been adapted to a rock/metal version. Christmas Canon Rock is a remake of Pachelbel's Canon in D, while Wish Liszt (as the title says) is a reworking of Hungarian Rhapsody 2, by Franz Liszt. The Lost Christmas Eve is somehow heavier, (heavier = better!) while Wizards in Winter is an example of happy, holiday atmosphere. The songs range from simple, basic tunes to complex, elaborate masterpieces such as Wish Liszt or Wizards in Winter. If you are playing a musical instrument yourself, keep in mind that however difficult the songs are, they are always fun to learn in this season.

As the songs follow the story, they range in atmosphere from melancholic, beautiful (Back to a Reason, What Child is This) to the happy, jolly bits in Wizards in Winter or the 'silly' (in a good way) monologue in What is Christmas, the song in which the main character expresses his feelings about the Christmas Eve. This is something interesting, since not only the words, but also the music shape the story of the poor man who has forgotten all hope, love and kindness.

The live performances of this album are astonishing, even though they are also somehow rich in cliche moves and effects (keep in mind that the whole Trans SIberian project is orientated towards the mainstream, rather than trying to conquer the metal underground). The years of work have made those performances virtually without any mistakes. The studio quality of "The Lost Christmas Eve" is one of the best I've ever heard, a result if you think that they have like 50 instruments to balance, mix and engineer. Without being sunk in, the instruments sound natural and have not made me think they are overproduced.

As a conclusion, I think one word fits this album best: cute. Yeah, it's a cute album that can cheer even the grumpiest folk up, and reminds us that there is still hope in this world, and beauty, even though it's hidden in social, political and economic misery that feeds our existence. Ignoring the cliches and overly used Christian elements is the key to understanding and appreciating this album to it's true value, that lies far beneath the surface.

I hope you will enjoy the masterpiece as much as I did. Merry Christmas and a happy new year!

I’m writing this review on a dreary and chilly Sunday afternoon in the month of November. There is a steaming mug of tea sitting on a precariously stacked pile of CDs, and if my cat should happen by there is a good chance that my bathing suit area is going to be burnt in ways that will make me useless to a woman. Looking around my spacious tinderbox of a house there is a nary a sign of the season (although we still haven’t rid ourselves of a now-rotting Halloween pumpkin). There ain’t nobody else here neither, and I will be spending the rest of today trying to ignore the horrifying idea that I’m actually looking forward to Monday so I can go to school. The house is essentially silent save for the joyous Christmas music blasting from the speakers.

If you quirked an eyebrow at that, I’m totally with you.

And yet, when I’m alone I’m always cranking some good music so this is really no different. Trans-Siberian Orchestra is simply incredibly entertaining stuff, and if it’s season-specific well goody for it. All that means is that it’s even better at a certain time of year than it normally is. What we have here is a “they don’t make ‘em like this anymore” progressive metal, Broadway musical-style storytelling, and classical music-based leads and riffs blended together, covered in shiny wrapping paper, tied with a bow, and slid under a Christmas tree for all the good boys and girls.

If you’ve never actually listened to a full TSO album you may be unaware that the band is not an instrumental Christmas carol cover group as I mistakenly believed, but rather a large group of guest musicians operating under the direction of journeyman producer Robert Kinkel and Savatage’s Paul O’Neill and Jon Oliva. While The Last Christmas Eve does not skimp on widdly instrumentals (roughly eleven of twenty-three tracks are instrumental), there are also a full complement of tunes with vocals, ranging from cabaret (title track, “What Child is This?”) to electric blues (“Christmas Nights in Blue”) to elegiac acoustic ballads (“Different Wings”). While these tracks are surely less well-known than the explosive instrumentals, many of them have monster hooks that will imbed themselves deep into your mind and help to break up the guitar wankery into manageable portions, as well as at times being genuinely moving.

The Christmas and classical themes are not subtle, usually appearing in a slightly tweaked form as the backbone of the song, “O’ Come All Ye Faithful” in particular popping up often (the melody the basis for both “Faith Noel” and “For the Sake of Our Brother”, as well as in a brief acoustic rendition). Also worth noting is the stunning electric guitar and piano rendition of the main melody from Pachelbel's “Canon in D” on “Christmas Canon Rock”, a lovely tribute to a piece that has to be one of the top five or six accomplishments of the human race. As well, even the original riffs (and there are some real doozies) are often accentuated with traditional holiday instrumentation such as tubular bells and the obligatory sleigh-bells.

As far as the sound goes, it is probably closest to sprightly late-years Savatage or the more virtuosic guitar-drunk works of Kansas, Al Pitrelli’s eye-popping axe work is especially prominent on the squealing Dixie Dregs-like “Siberian Sleigh Ride” and the crunch-heavy “Christmas Jam” while Jon Oliva’s busy ivories are of particular interest on the Liszt/Bach-sounding harpsichord tinkling of “Wish Liszt (Toy Shop Madness)”. Another touchstone would have to be Images & Words-era Dream Theater, particularly on the absurdly technical “Wizards in Winter” and the massive “Faith Noel”, “Wizards” based on a tricky-sounding time signature with very skilfully-played keyboard and guitar shred riffs and “Faith Noel” displaying a Petrucci-like penchant for slow drama-drenched power chord reprises of familiar melodies.

I believe I mentioned earlier that all of TSO’s albums are rock operas, and so some notes on the songwriting are due. The concept for this album involves an angel sent to earth by God to find the one person on the planet who is most akin to God’s own son. The angel travels to New York, since we all know only good things happen in the Big Apple, and encounters a bunch of people spreading Christmas cheer. He considers them all as possibilities, but is eventually distracted by an older man who bears a deep wound to the soul, and he follows this man as he rediscovers his past and achieves a state of serenity. There’s also some gobbledy-gook about the Queen of Winter sending out snowflakes and such to help make kids feel better. It tickles me pink that Kinkel would compose such a squarely Christian fable and include a demigod who is probably only worshipped by pagans and lazy schoolchildren (“Snow day now, bitch!”).

I’m sure most of you just about vomited out your own shoe soles just reading about that, but if you’re the sort to listen to ANYTHING remotely Christmas-y, you needn’t worry about the plot because it’s well-nigh impossiok [Note: this is where my cat almost unmanned me with boiling tea]

…well-nigh impossible to decipher the plot by listening to the thing, even if you’re paying attention to the lyrics. I read the short-story (also by Kinkel) included in the bulky liner notes, and while I acknowledged the cheesy one-dimensional manipulativeness of it, I also cry my sorry ass off at the end practically every time. The story shares that unadorned emotion of the greatest children’s books, and thus out-ed me as the massive pansy I’d always suspected myself of being.

*coughs nervously*

Moving on, the lyrics are also very simplistic and could almost be accused of being second-rate community theatre if it weren’t for the impressive array of guest vocalists trotted out to serenade the appreciative audience. The only sore spot in the bunch is probably the incredibly over-the-top singing on “What is Christmas?” which is not only way out of character for the tortured soul being represented but also sounds like cut-rate Jon Oliva impersonator. I mean, man, the real thing is probably chilling out in the studio not ten feet away since he only recorded a few backing tracks, and you go with this guy? I just don’t get it. Oh, and the children’s choir in “Remember” is annoying as all get-out. How could the TSO boys conscience letting this thing go on for more than two minutes? Hell, more than one? In fact, this album as a whole is probably ten minutes too long because of duff tracks like this.

In the end, I figure that I probably haven’t convinced too many of you to pick up this album who otherwise wouldn’t have anyway. It IS a smarmy record, it IS often cheesy, it DOES passively support Judeo-Christian belief systems, and it IS the type of sound that your mother can enjoy, your kid brother will think is totally awesome, and you might actually hear over a restaurant speaker system come that time o’ the year. But if you like old school prog, classical, and rock opera or you just want some Christmas music that doesn’t make you want to burn an upside-down cross into your forehead give this a shot.

In point of fact, there is some real magic in this thing. Look beyond the walls that build up with age, and try to let this into your heart. It might make you feel all warm and fuzzy inside.

...

I think I just lost all my kvlt points.

Stand-Outs: So many great tracks, but I guess to give my votes to “Christmas Dreams”, “What Child is This?”, and “Faith Noel”, with nods of appreciation to “The Lost Christmas Eve” and “Siberian Sleigh Ride”.