Injecting Evil in Thy Veins

If you were to make the argument that the black metal scene has descended completely and irrevocably into deeper and deeper depths of retardation and self-parody, this would be a great release to support your point. Honestly, if you wanted to say black metal was did and your entire argument was simply playing this, I would probably flip over the table and say "FUCK IT, I'M DONE" before storming off and buying some Godspeed! You Black Emperor CDs. This is fucking horrible, seriously, and I guess it makes sense that this is associated with other similarly terrible and self-parodizing project Stalaggh. The one good thing I can think about Kafan is that this is the first and so far only release from the project, and I'm hoping with all my heart it's also the last.

Imagine for a moment a version of the first Burzum album recorded by a mentally retarded person. The result is probably very similar to this. Kafan's music is uniformly slow and meandering, and, it should go without saying, ball-breakingly boring and obnoxious. 'Injecting Evil In Thy Veins' is a new level of insipid; the overly primitive programmed drums lumber away at their one or two beats per song while a terribly recorded guitar meanders away with the same three or four notes over the top. The (distorted, of course, for those who can't actually sing) vocals are like five decibels louder than any of the instruments, so they drown out the terrible music any time they pop in. I'm not really sure if I should consider that a pro or a con, really.

This is about the definition of bedroom black metal, so I'm not sure why Kafan has a position of so much greater legitimacy than, I don't know, fucking Satanicnundestroyer14/88 or whatever the fuck the kids are listening to these days. Also, to top it off, if the original versions of the tracks weren't enough, on the CD version of this release Xardas is awesome enough to REMIX the exact same tracks to sound just as shitty and bland, but in a more distorted and reverbed way. I have a million questions about this demo but I'm not going to ask any of them because I fear that I'd kill myself if I heard someone try to answer them in a legitimate way.