Hellion

Disclaimer up front: I will try my hardest not to make any historical references to Henry VIII in this review at the lead singer’s expense, but I can’t make any promises.

Ahh, what have we here? A five-buck EP disc dated to 1986, with a naked, maniacal, spider-armed ghoul rising out of an abyssal pool of lava (or blood) across the front? Looked like some dank 80s B-list thrash metal, worth the five bucks. I honestly hadn’t heard anything about Ann Boleyn or Hellion or New Renaissance Records before picking this thing up, with its worn-down cover booklet and broken-eared jewel case. The logo and the cover art looked badass, though, so I gave it a chance (as you do). And honestly, I’m kind of glad I didn’t read the other EM reviews here before putting this one on, as it might have deterred me. This version of the EP does not include ‘Looking for a Good Time’, which is probably a blessing. Instead of that number it has ‘Fire’, ‘Up from the Depths’ and ‘Break the Spell’. That seems to be a trade-off I should be happy to have made.

To clarify, this isn’t thrash metal of any sort. This is in the same kind of vein of West Coast heavy / hard / glam that Mötley Crüe and Twisted Sister fall into, with a bit of Dio and proto-riot-grrrl æsthetics thrown into the mix for good measure. (Apparently that shouldn’t be a surprise either given Ann Boleyn’s collaborations with Wendy and Ronnie, but I digress.) It works, kinda. Given the vintage, one shouldn’t expect it to be as polished and practiced as, say, Sister Sin, Crucified Barbara or Вольная Стая – acts which followed in the same musical vein much later. It’s rough around the edges; I can’t begrudge it that. But one could justifiably expect it to have a harder edge and a grittier dynamic than it actually does. You can tell what Hellion are aiming for here; they just don’t manage to quite get there.

Boleyn’s style and range are perfect for this sort of music, I will say that. She’s a mean, surly contralto with some good bourbon-soaked gravel. The problem is that the production and, to some extent, the instrumentation don’t allow her to take full advantage. It’s clear that Schenck and Barlam know how to handle the axes, but the mixing (which privileges Kelley’s drumming) just doesn’t do them any favours. ‘Backstabber’ gets some good momentum going, with some fun drumwork and a catchy main riff kicking off before Boleyn lets rip with a fine little revenge ballad against some bint who was stupid enough to go behind her back and then let her know about it. The one eyebrow raise this song gets… and it’s an eyebrow raise that gets repeated on several other tracks here… is reserved for the backing choral vocals, which sound like they belong on a jazz album from the ‘40s or something.

‘Fire’, ‘Break the Spell’ and ‘Don’t Take No (for an Answer)’ are the tracks which really remind me of a low-rent Sacred Heart-era Dio here. The individualistic attitude, the rejection of authority, the appeals to the rock-‘n’-roll lifestyle, these are all kind of basic to the genre. And it’s kind of a fun twist that ‘Break the Spell’ invokes black magic and the occult from the perspective of a potential victim, who ultimately winds up getting the better of her tormentor.

What’s kind of frustrating about this version of the Hellion EP is that it can’t really hold the momentum that well. ‘Up from the Depths’ and ‘Driving Hard’ land us in a mid-tempo backcountry where Boleyn can’t really deliver that effectively, and she overcompensates by stretching and overemoting, and thus losing her head (sorry, couldn’t resist – but hey, I lasted this long!). A similar effect happens on ‘Don’t Take No (for an Answer)’. That doesn’t kill the album dead, but it seems like Hellion managed to find their footing better by the time they put out a full-length. This is one of those releases where you can tell the band has potential and talent, but they aren’t quite putting it all out there for us to hear.

13 / 20

Hellion is one of many female-fronted bands that came out of the U.S. in the 80's, and one of the first to come out of California. The only founding member being its female singer, Ann Boleyn, it released a self-titled debut EP that is a mishmash of good songs, and at least one song that's incredibly cliched.

I'll get said cliched song out of the way first. "Looking for a Good Time". What. A. Stupid. Stupid. Song. I get that we could expect some metal bands at that time to produce songs like this, but I just can't seem to ignore the peppy and upbeat atmosphere it conveys. It's also the first track on the B side of the record, so if you put it on the turntable on that side without looking at the label hoping to hear some pretty ripping sounds, you'd be horrified to hear something that you'd think would be more appropriate for a "Back to the 80's" party that your mom's book club is hosting. Ann Boleyn has more of a growling, aggressive voice, so it doesn't quite fit well with the song. The only good thing about it is that there's no synthesizers on it, so at least that will make it a lot easier to listen to. Still, that sing-along chorus that expects us to sing along with it only pours salt into the wounds of those who want something like a much better song on this EP, like "Backstabber".

That song, despite being somewhat cliched like "Looking for a Good Time", actually has more of an aggressive edge to it. That's the kind of song that I'd expect the abrasiveness of Boleyn's vocals to go well with. It's also kinda speedy in the sense that it carries a semi-aggressive pace. I guess it's the best track on the EP, for the other songs are good, but they can't get anywhere close to being as good as "Backstabber". "Don't Take No (For an Answer)" kinda has that aggressive edge that "Backstabber" has, but it's at a more commercial-sounding tempo, thus dulling its edge. I gotta be a little critical on the backing vocals, though. I mean they sound like a bunch of drunken bachelors singing karaoke, and when they sing the chorus of "Don't Take No (for an Answer)", they sound a lot less energetic than Boleyn's more powerful pipes. "Driving Hard (for You)" is supposed to be a ballad, but it kinda falls flat, since it seems to be extremely boring. It's basically the same style of aggression that the other songs have, but the guitars are somewhat lighter. It's music great to be used as a sleep aid, if anything.

To be fair, Hellion had just gotten started, and the very, very first release unto the general public is bound to have some glaring flaws. Such is the case with this EP. Hellion actually did improve in their music, as their subsequent releases have been very, very powerful, if not more commercial in some respects. This EP, however, is to be expected from a band of newbies, which is pretty much what Hellion was at that time.

Ann Boleyn has a few claims to fame - deejaying for KROQ FM, Hellion, New Renaissance Records, and being a be'otch (the last having been confirmed by many). Despite the last comment, she’s contributed quite a bit to the scene, enough so that it’d be difficult (and kinda ignorant) to leave her off a list of people who’re almost hall ‘o fame material…quite almost. Sure, New Renaissance never claimed that stratospherically adored band and Hellion barely got a hundred feet off the ground, but when compared to all the people in the scene who couldn’t (and didn't) dent balsa wood with a bazooka with their offerings, it could be said she took the bull by the horns.

I don’t know if Hellion ever actually lived up to its moniker. A song like “Amnesia” off ‘90’s The Black Book is ten times more unruly and rakish than any single song born on this ep, and combining all their might probably couldn’t uproot it from the spot, but we’re talking eight years here. Eight years to witness metal’s miraculous growth in savage strength that in ’83 may have seemed like an enraged pie fight made frightening by a few extra-ornery bands marauding with baseball bats. Eight years or no, these songs are indeed lemon marang.

Paced with light rock appeal, lustless and limp “Don’t Take No (for an Answer)”, pop-scented “Lookin’ for a Good Time”, and head-lilting “Driving Hard” have quite a bit of AOR presence, the whole affair almost twirling around the cotton candy wind machine if the guy at the cart doesn’t fall asleep first, and are saved to a point by “Backstabber” and its narrowly dynamic, fairly energetic “Live Wire”/Crue streak of light speed. By this date, all this including “Backstabber” had been done to fermentation – the anthem-y, open air rock riffs, rhythmic structures already slaughtered by ’79, tired-eyed backing vocals that would've sounded more comfortable on a Bad Company record, uninteresting lyrical sleaze – a barrage of clichés running amok. ‘Queen’ Boleyn herself isn’t anything to write home about, underpowered and under produced compared to loudmouths Wendy O Williams, Betsy Bitch and even Jody Turner over in Rock Goddess. She’d jazz things up over time, though.

As quite a bit of time ticked by between this s/t opus and the more capable Screams in the Night, most people lost track of Hellion and their four-tracker that barely brushes against the getting winded second British invasion, probably the only half-mast salute I can throw this yawner even if it may have moistened this dry piece of meat. Music For Nations would re-release this in the same year with two extra tracks, a pair of tunes I never bothered to check out. I'm sure I'm not missing much.