The Quiet Place

Rave music has never agreed with my ears. I’m not sure if it’s the quirky electronic sounds, the hypnotic beats, or the sheer banality of the occasional melodies that play support to the obnoxiously loud beats, but somewhere between the sum and the parts my head begins to pound with the fury of a thousand volcanoes and I experience the young adult equivalent of acid reflux disease. Suffice to say, In Flames’ 2004 abortion “Soundtrack To Your Escape” was loaded with enough elements of this rubbish to force me to go through a whole case of Tums. But the total contents of their worst LP actually sounds like the sweet and succulent metal of “Powerslave” compared to the glow-in-the-dark, pill popping mush that was saved for this sad excuse for an EP/single.

The obvious offender of a title song is a classic example of the most concentrated extreme of the weaknesses on In Flames’ sad little album that it is derived from. Spearheaded by a vapid mixture of droning keyboard lines, effects drenched guitars that might as well be keyboards, and a few chug riffs that do little other than try to add some additional punch to an already obnoxiously overloud and groovy drum beat. But not to be a band sparing the audience of a much needed double whammy, the ridiculously overproduced, computer generated music video that features Anders in his newfound white boy with dreadlocks glory is also included. This was unfortunately my first introduction to the band within the music video format, and gave me yet another excuse to mock a few people I knew who worshiped this band while mocking the 80s stuff I listen to.

Having said all of that, the real garbage the inspired my complete revulsion for this release is the full fledged, utterly terrible remix of “My Sweet Shadow”. There are a few guitars in this song, but barely, leaving the vast majority of this song to be dominated by a slew of video gamey sounding electronic drums and electronic trance music, leaving us not forget Anders’ frightening renditions of semi-clean shouted vocalizations. I literally think that this song qualifies as the longest 4 ½ minutes of agony in my life, and my poor esophagus is still feeling the burn from all the stomach acid that was rushing up to my chest. Rounding out the mix is a pointless live version of an acoustic ditty and some studio footage affording us more time to admire the flirtations with an emo crybaby image with latent traces of wiggerdom in the case of the helmsman.

It is easy to hate a release like this if you hold metal in any level of esteem, though explaining why is a painful endeavor. I could see some of the songs that appeared on “Soundtrack” as being defensible on the grounds that they are more metalcore than techno, but the handful of die-hard In Flames fan boys that I occasionally encounter who cry out heresy the minute this emperor’s nakedness is pointed out in all its wrinkly old person glory, can only be passed off as hardness of hearing. An enema being performed on this thing would literally leak a decrepit mixture of glowing necklaces and Linkin Park members, so don’t even bother and leave this crapshoot in the dark sewage pool it originally rose out of.

This is almost too easy to review. It's like shooting fish in a barrel. It's almost like punching out a 5 year old. Entertaining? Yes. But it's not something you want to make a career out of.

It's been about 5 and a half years since this single was released on a not so eager metal crowd. Over the course of those 5 and a half years this single has not been looked upon kindly. Here we see In Flames completely go for broke in trying to obtain pop music success. Did they reach the level of mainstream acceptance they wanted? Not really. They are no more famous today than they were when they released "Reroute To Remain" and they're definitely no better. They are in a pop metal purgatory these days and I wouldn't be too surprised that's where they wanted to be in defense of them wanting to progress and sound different. There is nothing wrong with sounding different, it's great, but if that means sounding different from the very music that made you popular in the first place, well then that's just plain ol' selling-out without even admitting the truth. At least Raven and Celtic frost said they wanted to be more mainstream when they turned in their cold turkeys, but this single is a bad case of simply being in stubborn denial. Another reason why I decided to review this single instead of the entire "Soundtrack To your Escape" is simply due to the fact that it's a bad album, and I don't ever want to listen to it again. Period. "The Quiet Place" pretty much singled up everything that was wrong with that album. Only here on the single you don't have to listen to 12 songs of lameness. You only have to suffer about a quarter of the album's length and that is enough to make anyone suffer to being on the verge of a mental breakdown.

"The Quiet Place" single is offered in two different version of crap with a total of 6 songs, a music video of the single, and a studio recording session. Also said with multiple versions that don't even make goddamn sense. It even offers the unfortunate listener artwork that doesn't even fucking fit the theme of the song. It looks like a man in a rolling ball headed in a unknown direction. HELLO?! "PINBALL MAP" RING A BELL??? Obviously the completely forgot which song they were making artwork for. I mean I would have settled for something like a padded cell, hence the name "The Quiet Place". At least it would have fit the concept. Sound production is squeaky clean that Metallica would cream over.

The first song is "The Quiet Place" where it is a more melodic "Jump the Fuck Up". The worst part of this song is Anders. Dude, just admit you want to sing for Korn so badly. Stop pissing all-over the good stuff you actually did with In Flames with your fucking "I'm feeling negative emotions and laying in a darkened room dealing with inner turmoil but at least I am expressing my angst!!!" bullshit. Oh Christ. The band has simply forgotten everything they have learned as far as making any music that is related to metal. Next song is a remix and...y know what, I'm going to stop here and just say don't fucking listen to it. Listen to Annihilator's "Remains". Listen to Raven's "The Pack Is Back". Hell, listen to "St. Anger", "Cold Lake", "Roots", “God Hates Us All”, and "The Unspoken King" back-to-back. At least those album HAD metal riffs. The remix of "My Sweet Shadow" is undoubtedly the WORST music In Flames has ever attempted to record. It is a techno remix of Anders' whiny voice over crappy beats that could be easily found on an Apple Macintosh. You can barely even hear the lyrics, he's spewing so much snot-covered drivel. It's not until 1:02 the we hear a guitar riff which then turns into a lame rave song. "Värmlandsvisan" is a live acoustic piece that is the only redeeming factor about this single. Next is the video for "The Quiet Place" where we get a visual of Anders not only whining but acting like a fucking retard. Somewhere during a movie showing a theater he falls asleep and is transported into the quiet place' where I guess it's his over-infatuated ego telling everyone that he's struggling to come out of the closet. There's an image of the rest of the band in a psychiatric ward completely doped-up and I actually believe this band was doped-up for the most part of making a song as lame as this. Last but not least is live studio recording sessions where the band is sitting around drinking beer and being too relaxed. You can look in their eyes and tell that they just really don't give a fuck anymore. "Hey, let's put this shit out and everyone will eat it up because we're In Flames. We're melodic and we were the band that made Gothenburg metal so damn famous so they'll have to like anything we put out!" Not me buds. Not this metal head.

Again, it's a miracle to see how In Flames survived this bad car accident. I still believe they want to do more music in this vein but they're only teasing what little fan base they have left until they secretly release their next fucking monstrosity.

Another year another horrible horrible single. This quite possibly one of the worst releases of the year. With the release of this single, we are looking at one of one the most horrible sounds ever produced. One might think this single was originally devised as a method of torture for the North Korean's prisioners of war. If this wasn't the main intent of this single, rest assure it is now.

01. The Quiet Place -You all have heard it. You know how much it sucks. The question is why when there are halfway songs like In Search for I on the album would you ever consider choose using this shit song for a single? I have practically zero guitar experience yet I can produce better sounds just playing random shit on my friend's guitar. The electonics are the best part of the song. I actually don't mind them thrown into music. What I don't like is when its about as close as the song gets to have some sort of melody. Anders continues his repulsive clean vocals as seen on RtR or the latest Korn album. Does actually he think these vocals are good? Seriously, I'd rather be stuck listening to an elementary school orchestra concert than his clean vocals. He might as well be scratching his nails against a chalkboard because that is just as about as pleasing to the ear. This song is not only one of the worst songs by In Flames, it is one of the worst song ever devised by any music artist(s). I think I actually have given this a 3 on my review of STYE. I don't know what I was thinking. It is probably the result of still being hungover from the night before. I can't think of any other rational explaination minus declaring temporary insanity. 1/10

02. My Sweet Shadow [remix] -They have managed the impossible. In Flames took probably one the crappiest songs on STYE and made 100x worse. Way too much in the way of keyboards and electronic drums. Club Connected on the Trigger EP was atleast catchy, this is a boring techno mix that actually makes The Quiet Place interesting in comparison as if that were possible. I don't know; this is In Flames and they never cease to amaze me whether it was their amazing solos on Lunar Strain through TJR or now have degenerated from genuinely talented band to this mainstream influenced crap. I can't give any points to stuff like this. As giving even 1 point might encourage them to make another one of these remixes. It makes me cringe what might be on the single for their next album. My guess? A hip hop dance remix of their crappiest song on the album where Anders performs a duet with guest vocalist 50 Cent. Hey I wouldn't be surprised. Since IF seems to be copying Korn as of late maybe they'll copy Korn's idea to get a crappy rap artist like Ice Cube to guest star in their music. 0/10

03. VÄRMLANDSVISAN -Alright not a bad acoustic piece. I really enjoyed it but it was very short clocking around 1:45 seconds. This is the only redeeming song on the single. Unfortunately its doesn't change the fact the other two songs suck and how taking out a lighter and burning your money is actually less of waste of money than buying this single. 7/10

04. The Quiet Place [video clip]- Oh a stupid video to go along with a stupid song. Anders falls asleep in a move theater and all a sudden he's shown acting like an idiot whole does his little whiney vocals in some dark place. Then it switches over to the whole band in some white room acting like mental patients. Then it switches to the band playing outside with some large blue planet in the background. This part is pretty funny as they look ridiculous as they play. The parts with Svensson playing were particularly amusing. Another note goes to Peter Iwers. What happened to him? He's a big guy but I don't remember him being fat like this. He needs to lay off the cheeseburgers for a while. It closes out with Anders on a griffon acting like more of a tool than he did in the dark room. Anders is a king in his own mind. Where else would masses of people bow to him while he act likes total moron and cries in his whiny voice except maybe a Korn concert. Overall the video fits the music quite nicely in that In Flames went out of their way to make sure this video was just as much of a waste of your time. 1/10

05. Studio Recording Session [video] -Do I want to see the band sitting around drinking and talking how they made this crappy single? Not really. Save it for the E! channel guys 1/10

06. Screensaver -It's better than the Clayman one but then again what isn't. The scrolling marquee screensaver that comes with Windows is better. 1/10

Overall 18% VÄRMLANDSVISAN raises the overall score too much. I really hate to trash In Flames as their earlier material was the stuff that got me into metal in the first place but when you churn out crap like this you have to throw bias aside and be honest.

Anyone with any information of the whereabouts of this band please contact metal fans everywhere immediately. I don't know what this band is doing, but they don't sound a bloody thing like In Flames. On a more serious note, I know there is such a thing as evolving your sound and I respect this as much as the next fan of music but I believe this stretches beyond opinion. In Flames have not evolved their sound into something new and fresh. They went from one of the most interesting melodic death metal bands to a generic version of mainstream nu metal like Korn (vocals) and Linkin Park vocals and music in particular with this song. What is with the electronic intro? Is Anders auditioning for Jon Davis twin brother? Many rhythm guitar riffs on this song even make Reroute To Remain sound like genius. Beyond bland. At least that album sounded more like In Flames despite how mediocre some think it is. The song isnt even that catchy at all. Very sadly the cheesy electronic bits on the intro and chorus(might be done with lead guitar) are the most catchy and interesting parts of the song and they are probably In Flames worst lead part EVER."Bow Down, Bow Down" Reclaim My Place from Korn anyone? Words cant describe the pity I feel for that.

I usually dont like to give negative reviews but my disappointment after hearing this song far exceeds anything I could have ever imagined from In Flames. I feel ashamed to have ever bought any of their albums after hearing this. I recommend this to anyone who prefers not using their own mind in the matter of music and likes to be spoonfed derivative, generic and downright embarassing music. I'm sure some here will think I am being very generous with this review. As far as I'm concerned 40-50 is horrible and 10 is just noise on a guitar! Just to set the record straight.

Holy SHIT. Just when we thought In Flames couldn't get any worse, they go off and release this turd. The songs are, for the most part, complete and utter mallcore, almost as bad as St. Anger. In Flames has degenerated into a complete ripoff of Korn. The mp3 says In Flames, but I can't tell the difference between this and a Korn album. Everything about this single sounds like Korn. Even Anders manages to imitate Jon Davis perfectly. Speaking of Anders, his performance on this is HORRIBLE. He whines half the time, and when he isn't whining, he's doing a really weak-sounding scream for no reason other than to sound angst-ridden. And forget about the other instruments, because it's mostly just dropped-D power chord riffs most of the time.

Okay, The Quiet Place. This song pisses me off so much I could actually feel my brain trying to eat itself to be rid of the agony as I dragged my way through this bullshit. The song starts off with a weird sort of melodic intro, and wouldn't you know it, it isn't too bad. But then, the guitars drop down into a mellow droning, just as in any random nu-metal song, and Anders begins his lame whiny whispered angst vocals. The riffs pretty much dissapear behind him, and towards the chorus, Anders of course gives his best mallcore scream to signify the words "I close my eyes..." Folks, N*Flamez makes full use of the Standard Formula For Writing A Nu-Metal Song here. I'm not kidding, listen to any random nu-metal song on MTV and it will sound exactly like this, right down to the song structures. Oh yeah, and the chorus is lame and whiny. That's pretty much the whole song, with varying degrees of bad vocals and uninspired riffs thrown around. The lyrics are really fucking terrible, too. God, let it end. Fortunately, it does.

And the next song sounds EXACTLY THE FUCKING SAME. I swear to God, the opening riff to Borders And Shading is the exact same one as in The Quiet Place. Then, the guitars drop down into a mellow droning, and Anders starts crying about who knows what, probably slitting his wrists or whatever. Same exact song, different title. Then, a scream, some loud "riffs", and more shitty main verses, after which comes a chorus, which is almost identical to the one in the previous song. Fuck, these guys are uncreative. I didn't know it was humanly possible to write lyrics this bad, but there it is. I count precisely one riff. Even Jon Schaffer can write more than that per song! Anyway, more boring riffs with Zakk Wylde-esque squeals inserted to sound "awesome", and more of the same. That's two strikes.

The riff in "Touch of Red" is different at least, thank the Gods for that. But the main verses sound the same as always, and the riff is pounded into the ground for the entire song, as always. And it isn't even a good riff. Oh, but wait! A chorus! And it isn't the exact same thing as the previous two, but it still sucks pretty bad. And they repeat it far too often. Also, this is the third of all three riffs on the single that is pissing me off with its repetitiveness. Then the chorus, and Anders ruins even the sucking with the complete cockmongering he calls "singing". Thankfully the song is short, or else this would get a nextra two points off.

So yeah, new N*Flamez is total crap, even worse than Reroute To Remain. I don't know how they managed to write a full album of this, but then I'm amazed they managed to find the studio in the first place. Stay far the fuck away from this if you place any value at all on your sanity. This is worse than Bringer of Crap, and crappier. Fuck you, In Flames. Fuck you.