Crucify the Priest

I found this album in my favourite local record shop for £1.50. The advertising sticker on the front told me it was "True American Death Metal" (Y'know, because I've never heard anything by Death, Obituary, Gorguts or Morbid Angel...no, THIS is 'true' American death metal). I didn't find that self-aggrandising quote particularly offensive, so naturally I bought the CD. Couldn't possibly go wrong with 12 death metal tunes for £1.50. But what really caught my eye was the phrase that followed: "Produced by Joey DeMaio". Wait, what...?

Yes, the mastermind behind our favourite cheesy metal heroes, Manowar, worked extensively behind the scenes with this Chicago quartet on this, their sophomore release. DeMaio is no stranger to the world of music production, especially in the metal genre; he produced some of my personal favourite albums of all time ("Symphony of Enchanted Lands Part 2!!"). So I trust his instinct when it comes to power metal...but this is a death metal album.

So how does the production fare? You know when you buy a massive fast food meal, unwrap that tasty cheeseburger, lips moistened with anticipation - only to drop said burger in a muddy puddle? Yeah - THAT much disappointment. The drums are loud and clangy. The guitars are as muddy as the previously mentioned puddle. The bass is non-existent, except when it has its moments of solo 'virtuosity', in which it becomes louder than D.D. Verni on Overkill's "W.F.O." - resulting in the biggest bout of inconsistency in any death metal album I've ever heard.

However, this rhythm section at least plays in time with each other - making for some nice nod-along sections which are not abysmal, but not particularly interesting either. The most blatant flaw in this album, is Mark Duca's vocals. There's a thin line between using the proper technique to achieve a truly deathlike growl, and employing untrained yelling to produce a messy, but nevertheless effective, punky shout. Duca's half-assed performance lies on this thin line - resulting in an awkward bark which is far too low in the mix to provide any notable gravitas.

As mentioned earlier, upon first listen, you will find yourself nodding along with enthusiasm to some groovy riffs and fun breakdowns. Then as soon as the CD stops spinning, you'll forget everything you just heard. Bludgeon are clearly a bunch of talented musicians, but their skills are being employed in the wrong direction. The production is undesirably grimy. The runtime is far too long. The vocals have no presence. The songwriting is dull, and almost every track is devoid of any distinguishing characteristic.

But there's some nice riffs. Yay.

Highlights - "Tortured Through Lies", "Bound"

For fans of - Bolt Thrower, Demolition Hammer, Solstice

A band name and an album title like that, what would you expect? Death metal probably? A bit leaning on black metal maybe since it has been released in 2002, not the late 80s or early 90s. However, the band is the first signing on Manowar's Magic Circle Music label so that might throw you off a bit. Well, the initial idea is the correct one, it is death metal. One might wonder what possessed Joey DeMaio to sign a band like Bludgeon, for this album doesn't have much to offer to anyone. Their brand of death metal is very bland with leanings mostly to the Floridan style with the simplistic riffs and straightforward song construction, but nothing really sets them apart from anything. As soon as you've heard the band, you forget about them.

The songs don't really help with this. They're all written pretty simple; mostly the band just pushes onward at a middling plod. Some of the songs feature breakdowns while others have very awkward stop/start parts. But pretty much the band lacks anything memorable in their songs. With song lengths averaging around three minutes, they all just kind of mesh together into one pile of forgotten boredom. It doesn't help that the band's playing is quite laid back. There is no intensity to their playing. At times they manage to create a bit of atmosphere during their intros, but as soon as the songs start up, they bring in the damn boring riffs with their flaccid playing and it all falls flat. There are a few thrashier riffs and Tortured through Lies is fully a death/thrash song. It's the only time the band manages to sound like they are enjoying their playing. Too often it sounds like they are just doing their dayjob, just trying to get the job done proficiently. It's the same with the songwriting: No effort has been put into actually thinking the songs through, asking themselves "How does this flow from what came before?" They've just stuck riff after riff after riff and hoped that it sounds good. Unfortunately it doesn't.

Another failure - though not the band's fault this time - is the production. While everything is clearly audible and well proportioned to each other, the guitar sound is very generic. It is way too clean for this kind of music. There's no roughness, no rawness, no edge. Everything sharp, everything that could've left a mark has been honed out. The same has happened with the vocalist. Often he sounds like a hoarse clean singer, who is a bit annoyed by his daughter's phone bill. There are some slightly deeper vocals that are passable, but they are rare. Usually it is the annoyed barks that drive the song forwards. The bass rumbles loudly in the background, which is no surprise considering it is Joey DeMaio at the table. The drums are all loud and clear, nothing worth complaining there. The bassdrum is a bit flat, but it is a very minor gripe. What is a major gripe however, is the drummer and his lack of imagination and flair. He is about as bad as Bill Andrews on Leprosy. Coma-inducing beats and fills that barely register and too often consist of just the snare or a single tomhit. Combine this with the generally mind-numbing songwriting, laziest riffs and leads you've heard in a while and a generally tasteless production and you've got... Well, words fail, but you've got this album and it will surely be the dreariest forty minutes you have endured in a while.