A Sacrificial Offering to the Kingdom of Heaven in a Cracked Dog's Ear

Let me begin by saying that this a re-recording of SUIZID, a classic black metal album. When I began listening to this album I was aware of its original well regarded release, but this doesn't make any damn sense. It is rare for a band with such a fantastic resume to release something as odd and out of place as this record is. The album doesn't hesitate at showing you why you shouldn't listen to it. A huge part of this is due to the fact that the singer is terrible and the mixing of the record is strange.

A lot of songs on this album stand out due to the horrific vocals provided by the lead vocalist. At some points on the record, the vocalist growls things that could be confused as lyrics, but they're just strange noises being made for no particular reason other than to confuse the listener. The instruments are great, but they do not make up for the lack of strong singing at all. This album was considered a classic for its day, no need for it for to be re-recorded, Suicidal Tendencies already did that with their most influential album and it didn't really matter.

The drums are also strange, along with the horrific vocals. They also decided to add an idiotic, yet hilarious song called "Lingering Fart" and the lyrics are just a mosh pit of stupidity, I will admit, however, that it is funny as hell, and honestly it's the best representation of who the vocalist is and what he should be doing, the lyrics were perfect for him. Another aspect of this album that strikes me is the name. What the hell does it even mean? Now I get that these guys are German, but you have to make sure it makes sense what you have named your album.

All in all, what you should do is listen to SUIZID, the original recording of this album that is classic. No weird drums, vocals (If you can even credit it as being such) or any other tomfoolery, what you get with the original recording is a classic black metal album that still holds up and fits very well in Bethlehem's discography. This re-recording should be wiped off the face of the planet, even at the expense of it.

-Nolan

The original S.U.I.Z.I.D. was a classic black metal album with an excellent sense for haunting melodies and razor-to-the-veins suicidal hostility. Honestly, it was one of the better black metal albums of the 20th century...I should probably have reviewed that instead of wasting my time listening to this.

Now, I can see how such a work would warrant some form of re-visitation, but I would have settled for a re-issue with bonus tracks, remastered perhaps. Instead, the band have chosen to re-record the album, with suicidal black metal icon (and clown) Niklas Kvarforth of Shining on the vocals. Okay, that was a lot of re's, and I apologize. Kvarforth doesn't have a bad voice for this style; after all, the depressive sub-genre spawned from albums like the original S.U.I.Z.I.D. But there is nothing here that surpasses that work or Marco Kehren's vocals.

In short, this might have been fun for Kvarforth, and some sort of attention grab for Bethlehem to return to their bloody roots from the gothic metal they've been doing recently (and doing well, I might add). But the original album is fantastic, obscure and does not deserve any further obfuscation this 'update' may create. If you don't own it already, save your cash to pick up that version, or one of Bethlehem's other albums. Or any Shining album. Remakes of albums are as worthless as remakes of films. This is simply unnecessary, and I cannot assign value where there is none. But if you're a revisionist or poseur who will probably pay to see the new Karate Kid film with Will Smith's son, then by all means, have at it...

-autothrall
http://www.fromthedustreturned.com

In my former (and first ever I might add) review of Bethlehem's "Mein Weg", written way back in 2004, I had later thought I was being too harsh. Aw hell naw! I haven't begun to be harsh on this band! Bethlehem formed in the early 90's and have released a number of unique albums to date. Throughout their career they have undergone many changes, line-up wise as well as style-wise. Each album has had a different vocalist and the band gained notoriety for their over the top performances. However, ever since the departure of guitarist Kläus Matton the quality of the bands material has gone downhill. While the aforementioned album "Mein Weg" did have its share of positive moments, it almost felt like the band was desperately trying to capture the feeling of their previous work and failing miserably. But with " A Sacrificial Offering to the Kingdom of Heaven in a Cracked Dog's Ear", a rerecording of their 1998 album "Sardonischer Untergang im Zeichen Irreligiöser Darbietung", Bethlehem has become a full blown parody of themselves.

Let's not shy away from the truth of this album. It's all about one silly, scarred up guy who loves to sport a sleek, fashionable black do-rag. That's right. I'm talking about everyone's favorite suicidal black metal character... Kvarforth.

Kvarforth sounds decent at times... *almost* reminiscent of Atilla Csihar, but for the most part his vocal performance is downright laughable. At times he even sounds like he's making an attempt at being a scat vocalist. I'm not kidding. It happens just 35 seconds into the first song. Fuck... maybe Bethlehem will get Scatman John to do the vocals for their next album and reach their pinnacle of over the top vocalists. One can hope. I don't know... maybe I'm just being biased, but the mere presence of Kvarforth on this album alone is enough to make me cringe and shake my head. Let me put him in perspective, if you will. Okay. So a good friend of mine's father is a straight up old fashioned Italian-American from Jersey City who drives a truck for a living. He has a name for guys like Kvarforth: Jackass.

Frankly, I never understood all the hype surrounding this guy. Sure, he is controversial with his ridiculous publicity stunts such as playing dead to boost his shitty bands popularity as well as his onstage presentations of homosexuality, but really, how can anyone take him seriously? With all his amoral antics in mind, that's the most shocking thing to me. I'm a big fan of Bethlehem's older work and to hear classic songs that I've listened to countless times butchered by Kvarforth is insulting to me. The music sounds muffled, buried under the vocals of Kvarforth, which make him sound even more obnoxious to the ears. He sounds like a fucking cat hacking up a hairball around 1:50 of the track "Dead White Marten". Not quite able to throw it up. Only choking on it before giving up with a gasp of exertion. And don't get me started on the track "Lingering Fart (A Fart Standing Still)". He does a great impression of Foul Phil from The Garbage Pail Kids on this one.

YET AGAIN the recording of the random German guy who was drunk and broke into the studio to cause a raucous while the band was recording guitars for the original S.U.i.Z.i.D. was included on this release. If that man got the royalties of that recording he would surely be in an alcoholic coma in a bordello somewhere in Germany right now, because apparently Jürgen Bartsch is so proud of it that he feels the need to include it on every single new Bethlehem release, or so it would seem. But speaking of the original S.U.i.Z.i.D., this entire rerecording sounds no different from it save for the vocal track and a few minor things. In fact, it sounds worse. It's as if Barstch simply wanted to cash-in on the big Kvarforth craze. With that being said, only listen to this if you're a fangirl of him. Otherwise avoid this at all costs. Even better, pretend that it doesn't exist. I was going to give this a 5% score simply for the music, but you know, if that's the case... just get the original S.U.i.Z.i.D.

Therefore, this gets a 0%. A big, bloody and gaping 0%.

As much as I enjoy most of what Bethlehem has done in almost 20 years, I have to point out that this is the most despicable thing they’ve decided to do and I will make sure to stay away from this act from now on. Regardless of my indignation, after making a split with such generic bands like Benighted in Sodom, an abominable release of this caliber was only imminent.

So let's go straight to my first point, the vocals. The vocals are absolutely horrendous. They do not come anywhere near Kehren's vocal range and creative ability to produce the enchanting speech passages he did for S.U.I.Z.I.D. They don’t even fit the unearthly mood the band has managed to deliver on every album. Olsson does not possess as much throat as prior Bethlehem vocalists and his screeching is laughable, reminds me of those new “dsbm” trendy bands on which the vocalists can’t keep the pitch. I don’t know what was going through everyone’s head by asking this clown to redo vocals for this record, the only reasonable explanation is that not only Bartsch belongs in a madhouse but so does the rest of the band, Patrick McCahan and everyone else involved on this pointless issue. It is accustomed for Bethlehem to show a very special atmosphere with the use of unusual vocals, but these heartless screams are very far from unusual. Besides the fact that the vocals don’t bring anything interesting to the album, the lyrics are now in English, which is very disappointing.

The music was not re-recorded; instead, the new vocals were poorly mixed with an unmastered version of the original 1997 take. Not only the vocals sound like crap, but so does the editing and mixing. The drums have no effects whatsoever, unlike the original release where reverb and gating are prominent allowing the drums to deliver a great atmosphere. Drums aside, the guitars seem to be untouched but the bass is another let down. Apparently they didn’t bother to master it either but instead, they decided to bring up its volume, making a now dull and powerless bass guitar stand out. Other original effects and passages were also altered and new meaningless sections were recorded, adding absolutely nothing of substance to this poor attempt at redoing an already flawless release.

This ruined new version of this great album is yet another proof that “Mein Weg” was the best Bethlehem could do without the aid of Klaus Matton. If you enjoy most of what this band has done in the past, I'd recommend you stay as far, far away as you can from this failure.

It will take you approximately 35 seconds to realize why this album deserved such a low score, and it will then take you approximately 6 minutes to realize why you will never listen to this again.

This was to be a reworked version of the s.u.i.z.i.d. album, which was fine to begin with, and yet aside from the vocals, nothing is different at all. The music sounds very poorly edited in some brief parts, but otherwise it sounds the same except albeit flat and emptier than the original. The atmosphere is somehow gone, though the actual recording is fine. I wouldn't even say the music is bad at all, there just isn't anything new to report of it that hasn't already said about the original.

But the number one issue here is the vocals.

Kvarforth. WHY.

Kvarforth is perfect for Shining, because the music is written in accordance to the juxtaposing of his voice and the flow of Swedish lyrics, so he sounds natural and appropriate during his own songs. Bethlehem is a German band and all of these songs were originally in German, but I suppose to accommodate his inability to speak German, Kvarforth sings the songs in English, which though at times may retain the same meaning, the songs do not match the music in the same way as they did before, and so as a result, the performances sound awkward and unsure of themselves at times. There are several times when there are these vocal sounds that just appear to try to fill space; sometimes it is a series of faint quivering whispers or just inexplicable sounds, but it doesn't sound dark and evil in any way, it just sounds retarded, out of place, and 100% forced.

When I say that it sounds retarded, that isn't a sarcastic endearment at all. There were times when I couldn't help myself but to laugh at how comical it sounded sometimes, especially at the track "Lingering Fart (A Fart Standing Still)", where at the end of the song, Kvarforth is just yelling "FAAAAAARRRRRRT!!!!"
In the original s.u.i.z.i.d., these songs were eerie and atmospheric, and even after translating them somewhat with my limited knowledge of German, they were still obscure and disturbing. I think Kvarforth only manages to kill the mystique this album once had, and I say this as a fan of Shining and Bethlehem, that if you like either of these bands, this decision to create this will ruin your opinion of both.

I heard a version of "Du Sollst Dich Toten" with the guy from Ataraxie, and I thought it was actually quite impressive because it sounded like Bethlehem, but with a different vocalist, instead of sounding like Kvarforth doing bad Bethlehem covers with some musicians behind him. What was wrong with the other guy? Or maybe the guy from Sterbend, or Nyktalgia? Any one of these guys would have been more appropriate for this remake, which does seem curiously like a sneaky way to cash-in on the current popularity of Niklas Kvarforth. And its not even that Kvarforth is a bad vocalist, he was just all wrong for this, especially if none of the original music or sounds had been redone or altered at all to sound updated as well.

Imagine seeing a remake of "A Nightmare on Elm Street", but the director has decided that it was for some reason necessary to keep all the original footage from the movie, except he has digitally replaced Robert Englund with Russell Crowe. Its not that Russell Crowe is a terrible actor or anything, but why the fuck is HE in THAT movie? Furthermore, why is it even called a remake if it looks and sounds exactly the fucking same?

Whatever the reason may be for the existence of this album, it is completely invalidated by how terrible the outcome was in the end. Its very embarrassing to listen to, and I defy anyone to try to listen to it twice and say that it was a "good" decision. I still have some hope for NEW Bethlehem tracks with Kvarforth, but come on guys, this was weak.