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Abathur > Grim Fuckin Folktales > Reviews
Abathur - Grim Fuckin Folktales

The worst of the worst. - 12%

NightmareInc, March 23rd, 2006

Whilst most cassette releases leave you with that great feeling of watching the black-coloured part of the tape roll into the sound projector and the staticy-production start playing as a little soft intro plays which progresses into why the album is called "black metal", this cassette leaves you with shock and a heart beating faster than Dr. Phil trash-talking about Oprah behind her back as she listenes behind him with her little friends booing and then surprising him with her retarded attitude as she fires his ass on the spot in front of the whole world. Right when the black-coloured part of the tape rolled into the sound-projector of my cassette player, I had the volume up at the highest bit without noticing. I had no idea that each fucking song on this album starts out so damn loud without any warning whatsoever. Just another one of those reasons why this album is among the worst that I have ever heard. Of course with the title "Grim Fuckin Folktales", it's pretty obvious that this band isn't exactly going to be atmospheric or ambient in the least such, but it wasn't too obvious that this would be one of the worst releases I have ever heard. I heard that this album was great and highly interesting, but when I received it, I once again felt like killing the retard who keeps recomending me shitty bands like Glueh, ...Aaaarrghh..., and even From The Depths.

The first track is actually somewhat interesting. It starts out pretty grindy, as all of the tracks do. The good thing about this track is that it actually has vocals involved, unlike the other two who last only a few tens of seconds with no vocals whatsoever. The wretched thing about the first track is that it repeats for the entire song, but is alright because it only lasts for about a minute. If you have ever heard Brenoritvrezorkre of the Black Legions of France, the riffs sound very similar to them. Very buzz saw-like grindy riffs with echoey vocals that tend to fit in with everything else like Dark Funeral in the house of Satan. With such things said, you'd think this track would be very, very nice, right? Yes, you would. It sounds extremely interesting and has very nice concepts that of which make it sound very nice and interesting, yet Abathur somehow make it ridiculous and amazingly boring. The vocals are great, and the drums are lightning-speed with tons of technicality as well as buzz saw-like riffs, but this track lasts for only one minute with the same thing repeating over and over again. Nothing special, and nothing interesting in the slightest bit when it is rounded up in the end.

I have not much to say about the second track. It's possibly the worst track I have ever beared my ears upon hearing, as it lasts for about ten seconds. It starts out with the exact same riffs played in the previous song with the same drumming sequences and no vocals whatsoever and is played for ten seconds. That's it.

The third track starts out with some premature intoductory riffs like those on Cryptopsy's "Defenestration" song, and then technically advance into the same riffs as the first two songs. Then these riffs as well as the drumming sequence are played together to make the exact same song as the second song except being a couple seconds longer. No vocals at all. Boring.

This band is one of the most terribely bizarre bands I have ever had the mispriveledge of hearing. I can't stand it, it repeats, it's literally the exact same riffs used over and over in each song, vocals are used sparingly, and I'm glad its only limited to 200 copies. No one should ever hear this.

Kids, we've had some great fun with this review today. From Dr. Phil to Dark Funeral, from actually being somewhat interesting to being the worst track ever. But the truth is, no one deserves to listen to this outrageous blasphemy of noise. No one.