Heavy Metal Chainsaw

AAAAAAHH!!! We’re all going to die!!! Metalucifer are here to kill us all with a giant fucking Heavy Metal Chainsaw!!

What the fuck is this awesome band?? Did they cross over from some parallel dimension where it’s not the NWOBHM but the NWOJHM?? And when will they come to the USA to play some gigs? Unholy shit!! One hundred tons of SHEER FUCKING RIFFAGE has just landed on my poor ears! Oh the power! Oh the glory! Oh the mind-warping, fist-pumping, head-banging, life-altering awesomeness!!!

Ok, a bit more soberly now…

What we have here is arguably the best NWOBHM band that never came out of Britain. From the opening chainsaw revving and screaming on “Heavy Metal Chainsaw,” right down to the last Overkill-esque riffs and drum fills of “Lost Sanctuary,” Gezol and Co. reach out, grab you by the balls, and demand that you bang your head at the altar of true fucking heavy metal, in the vein of Iron Maiden, Angel Witch, Saxon, Motorhead, and other gods of the NWOBHM. But proving once again that the Japanese are indeed the Master Race destined to conquer the planet and subject the rest of us to their iron-fisted rule, Metalucifer have spun their NWOBHM-worship into some truly incredible heavy metal in its own right. Derivative? Retro? Dated? Maybe so, but who gives a fuck? This band oozes more awesomeness than roughly 99.5% of all other metal out there today.

On to the album itself. The production is clear and balanced, allowing all the instruments to shine through but giving emphasis to the guitars – as it should be. The twin guitar attack provides some truly vicious, heavy, and epic riffs, as well as a bevy of emotional and passionate soloing. The performance is capped off by the gallop of the bass and Gezol’s heavily accented vocals – so fucking over the top, and so great.

How about the songs? Honestly, the whole album kicks ass from start to finish, but if I had to pick out a few favorites, I’d include the fist-pumping action of “Warriors Ride On The Chariots” – Steve Harris, eat your heart out! – as well as the epics “Northern Heroes” and “Lost Sanctuary”. Also deserving special mention is the instrumental track “Metalucifer (Zwei),” which is six minutes and forty-three seconds of more awesome riffs and solos.

And as a final thought, I should note something about this album’s nature. You know how St. Anger seems so long? Well, that’s because it is long, torturously slow, and droning. Heavy Metal Chainsaw is long too, or at least, seems that way – it clocks in at just about forty-two minutes, which is a fairly middling length for a metal album. However, the riffs – and the solos! – just keep coming! One after the other! And then there’s a verse, and a chorus, and MORE RIFFS! And MORE SOLOS! Keep banging your head, you metal maniacs, Metalucifer aren’t done with you yet! This album is the Energizer Bunny of maniacal, over-the-top traditional heavy metal riffing – it just keeps gloriously going, rolling on and on, and never seems to stop for anything.

You like NWOBHM? You like Metalucifer. Get this or die.