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Skid Row > Revolutions per Minute > Reviews
Skid Row - Revolutions per Minute

I'm still waiting for the punchline. - 10%

hells_unicorn, May 20th, 2009

I’m not sure whether this album was intended as a joke, or if maybe Dave Sabo and Rachel Bolan partied a little too hard in the 80s and caught a late manifesting case of Ozzy Osbourne syndrome, but either the way the result is an utter catastrophe. The only thing that I can think of that can potentially lead to failure in the same way that an 80s heavy metal band morphing into a grunge rock, alternative metal, or groove metal band would is adopting the really flakey newer brand of emo pop/punk pushed by bands like My Chemical Romance, and boy does Skid Row take the fatal plunge on here.

“Revolutions Per Minute” is essentially a slightly manlier rehash of stuff heard off of “The Black Parade” with some better guitar solos and a slightly better vocal delivery. The songwriting is extraordinarily vapid, churning out interchangeable melodies in major keys that sound extremely hokey when matched up with Johnny Solinger’s really lame attempts at emulating the punk rock version of attitude based yelling. The lyrical content reads like the illegitimate son of Vince Neil and Sam Kinnison if the former was downing tons of alcohol throughout his pregnancy, resulting in any level of humor being inherited from the later being killed off.

Just one listen to pseudo rocking up tempo joke songs in “Another Dick In The System” and “Nothing” will seal any doubt that this is not something that can be listened to without either busting out laughing or sighing in a state of apathy. When the formulaic power chord songs start to get played out, then these washed up 80s icons resort to the same sort of crappy down tempo semi-grunge rock influenced rubbish that occasionally comes out of bands like Seether, complete with Solinger actually channeling Kurt Cobain during the quiet verses. And there’s naturally goofy joke songs aplenty, including a really revolting semi-country rock sounding blunder in “You Lie” and a really redundant and utterly unfunny power chord coaster in “White Trash”. You can tell a band is scraping the bottom of the barrel when they start making references to “Girls Gone Wild”.

The only song on here that even sounds remotely good is “Let It Ride”, which sees the band taking the pop/punk song format into something of an enjoyable direction. This is basically a somewhat more complex version of a Green Day song with one little rock riff tucked into the verse, but it’s reasonably catchy and has a solid gang chorus that fills out the arrangement relatively nicely. They throw in a little token guitar solo on this one that loosely resembles a Bon Jovi meets Twisted Sister approach to lead work, but for the most part it’s all power chords and vocals.

If ever there was a band that needs to just cash in their chips and hang it up it’s these guys. It’s utterly sad that the same band that wrote songs like “Youth Gone Wild”, “Sweet Little Sister” and “Slave To The Grind” has been reduced to this. Not even a minimally self-respecting fan of the most girlie of hair bands should ever admit to liking this. I’d even put that ridiculous made up band that Sebastian Bach was in a couple years back with Ted Nugent, Scott Ian and Evan Seinfeld called Damnocracy above this pile of Emo drenched, pseudo-comical drivel.