Cumplete

I usually detest grindcore...something about fifteen seconds of blinding, speedy noise with little to no musical value doesn't appeal to me in the least. Unless it's a band that I can somehow find humorous, then at least attention can be paid and a few laughs can abound. Take ANAL CUNT, for instance...sure, they're musical inept and their lyrics are "offensive", but the over-all delivery brings curls to the sides of my mouth the likes of which the "Homage to Steve" Steve Martin video does. But then I got ahold of this disc, through a (now former) friend, and expected the worst.

It didn't happen, strange enough.

This is probably one of the funniest grindcore albums I've heard. The appeal, to me, comes from the generally punk-esque performance, where Buttwrench and company let it all flow with nary a care in the world. But it also comes out tight, not sloppy, and the "music" (if you could even call it that) blurs by, not overstaying its welcome, in a more entertaining fashion then your LORD GOREs or NAPALM DEATHs of the world. Plus you get lyrical matter that, much like the aformentioned A.C., you CAN'T take serious no matter how staunch a Christian or Satanist you are; "I Spell God C-U-N-T", "Mary Had a Little Clam" and "Crucifiction Must Hurt like a Bitch" are some of the more laugh-inducing tracks, and even "Another Jew On the Cross" has its moments of parody beyondt itnentional offensiveness (you gotta love the grind Kazoo). I'm certain this would only appeal to die-hard grindcore folk or lame-o first-time "Satanists" looking for uber-blasphemy, and just about anyone else would either hate or ignore this. Still, a more entertaining grind album has yet to show its face.

So in the end, take this album at face value (as best you can given the artwork), as well as take it as a comedy album, like msot grind should be. A true contender to the genre and may beat A.C., if only they'd come back and record more material.

Okay, I want my 8 bucks back. This album is by far one of the most bizarre as well as one of the worst grindcore releases I have ever listened to in my life. Cumchrist is one of those bands with a killer line up (with people from Lividity to Gorgasm) yet when it comes time to churn up an album; they take it as a total joke.
I must however give respect to whoever the artist of this was; this is by far some of the most original album artwork for a grindcore album I have ever seen. The biblical images and renaissance era artwork are probably one of the few unique things about this album.

The music here reminds me a lot of early Carcass and Napalm Death. The blast beats are non stop. The bass is non-existent. All other guitar work is pretty bland, there some melodic solo worked in here someplace but it really doesn’t do much to help the album. However, this disc does bear forth one of the most bizarre instruments in metal history, the “Kazoo of Doom,” why the band felt it belonged in here I will never know.

The lyrics are so blasphemous it’s kind of funny at times, “God owes me money,” and “Let’s pretend I’m the pope” are right up there with “Mad at God” (Deicide hit rock bottom right about here) as the funniest anti-Christian song titles ever. The lyrics are similar in nature ranging from everything to sex, anti-religion, alcohol, as well several body fluids.

Now don’t get me wrong, there are still some decent headbangers on here (“Crucifixion must hurt like a bitch” and “Vaginal Bloodfarts”) but there also tracks where this album jumps into the punk side of grindcore (“I had to break up with your mom” especially). The album closes with “My toothless bitch” and this track has several hidden things afterwards, some kind of carnival western square dance thing and another song that sounds like it would fit right in on the show South Park.

In summary; this album is pretty much a waste of space unless you’re a diehard grindcore fan. This album is designed to piss people off or be regarded as a complete joke. With some of the bands the guys in the line up are from I had much higher expectations.