Total War

War, "Total War". My homeland has made bad experience with a total war. But Sweden is the European country with the longest period of peace. Thus, some dudes from Stockholm thought it would be a nice idea to use these names for their band and the debut. Well, Dr. Goebbels said that "total war is shortest war", and the guys from Sweden are aware of this dogma of Germany's most hated propaganda minister. Their kind of total war lasts only 17 minutes - and even this is too long. It is rather a caricature of a war. I am sure that their parents were posers, otherwise this output would not suffer from this blatantly stereotyped wording.

"Total War" is primitive. Nothing else. People without taste may call it raw, aggressive, brutal or whatever they want to call it, but it is exclusively primitive. The first line of the first song is "Aaah, we are fucking war". Let me summarize: War, total war, fucking war. The totally unholy trinity of war is, of course, completely satanic, provocative and shocking. Too bad that this martial triad cannot compensate for compelling riffs, stirring leads and precisely designed drums. Tracks like the opener "Satan" (another very subtle title) do not score with straightness. Their main feature is the absence of all that makes metal usually interesting. Okay, the band tries to deliver a minimum of diversification while changing the tempo during the following tracks. Yet this alone does not push the dudes on a higher level.

Despite the famous band members, "Total War" sounds amateurish. Just listen to the awkward fade-out of "Reapers of Satan" (yes, the fanciful song titles are the result of a long decision-making process). Death / black metal can be very exciting and I think that I do not need to mention names like Necrophobic in this context. But "Total War" does not offer any fascinating riff and nothing leaves a long-lasting impact. Okay, maybe I want to make an exception. "I Am Elite" delivers a very rare asset, a modicum of melodies. I don't hate straight compositions, by no means, but I shit on noisy clumps. Furthermore, the name of the song is misleading, "I Am an Idiot" would have been much more correct in view of the fascist lyrics. Nevertheless, this marks the only track with a more or less gripping chorus and a pretty reasonable structure.

The mediocre riffs of the title track, the stupid hammering of "Revenge" and more or less any other detail tell us that the musicians spat out semi-finished songs which seem to be composed and recorded in less than two hours. And this is exactly what makes me angry. The faceless production is not worth mentioning and to be honest, the same applies for this parody of an extreme metal album. Five guys just play the brutal clowns. Give peace a chance.

War (later known as Total War) was a black metal “super group” that formed in the mid-90’s and released two recordings: the Total War EP, and the We Are War full-length. The line-up changed between these two recording sessions, and it shows in its own way: Peter Tägtgren and Tony Särkkä (aka “It”) were essential to this record’s sound.

With members from a fairly narrow scope (It and All were in Abruptum, Vondur and Ophthalamia together), and a combined history of band members previously in Necrophobic and Dark Funeral, you should be aware that you’re getting a black metal assault, stripped down to its vital core. Yes, this means no keyboards, no clean vocals, no “technical” guitar wizardry… this is flat out, point blank Swedish black metal played in a very raw style (think Marduk’s Panzer Division Marduk and Dark Funeral’s Secrets of the Black Arts), divided into its simplest form, and you have a good idea as to what you’re getting here.

The instruments all shine clear in the mix (even the bass, normally neglected in some black metal bands, which is provided by none other than Peter’s Hypocrisy band mate, Mikael Hedlund). The guitars have that distinct Swedish sound that bands used to kill for (and is now more often than not over-used), riffs akin to being picked with an electric rotary saw. It’s primitive, but very effective in the context.

And seeing how Peter is involved, you’re getting to hear some of Peter’s earliest work in engineering albums. His drumming doesn’t sound too shabby either – he holds his own and helps propel the songs forwards with great fluency.

I’d mentioned that the songs were primitive: this might be an understatement. There seems to be a two-riff maximum quota being enforced here, but as none of the songs pass the 3:30 mark, these are short, abusive and devastating blasts of hatred. Hell, it’s seven songs played in exactly 17 minutes and 4 seconds! In a way, Total War is like cyanide – a little can go a long way towards slaying someone.

The songs don’t deviate much from the pattern: Satan is mentioned in three song titles (including the first song, titled appropriately enough, “Satan”), War is mentioned in two, and the concept of evil would pour off the edges of this CD if it could.

Lyrically, this is a simple affair as well. Some of the songs might put them in the same camp as, say, a NSBM band, but one can only conclude that there’s a tad bit of sarcasm and shock being thrown in here (I will, at this point, cite my resource: VONDUR). Otherwise, it’s all about the Satan worship, the art of war and the finer points of killing. Armageddon is mentioned a few times too, for good measure (and what one could guess would be variance).

The only simple way to end my thoughts on this album is with the following: if you like raw, primitive and simple Swedish black metal, where little thought is required, then this is most definitely an album for you. To you’re focused on such nuances as “progression”, “symphonic (fill in the blank), complex and lush music, or anything that isn’t akin to a fist in the face, steer clear of this. And if you think black metal is Cradle of Filth or Dimmu Borgir, may I suggest you not only steer clear of this, but run away, as fast as you can, before your preconceptions are blasted away? I’ve done my community service for this year with this last paragraph: if you don’t listen to it, then don’t blame me.

And if, like me, you enjoy some dirty, raw and over-the-top black metal and pick this up because of my review, then in advance: “You’re welcome.”